tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4233463190462423428.post8599035326682495918..comments2023-10-18T10:45:24.003-04:00Comments on These Ripples and Waves: That's ThatJennOveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06122193099387765604noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4233463190462423428.post-32023067584118755952011-12-22T16:48:01.732-05:002011-12-22T16:48:01.732-05:00Jenn - if it matters any, I agree with your decisi...Jenn - if it matters any, I agree with your decision. I know what you've been through and I can say with 100% certainity, that you are making the right decision.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02297382893543772858noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4233463190462423428.post-44505740199065397082011-12-17T13:39:21.885-05:002011-12-17T13:39:21.885-05:00Jenn your doing the right thing. As a grandchild o...Jenn your doing the right thing. As a grandchild of a disconnected and selfish grandparent I feel you! I have no grandparents and I am sad to say that even when one is living.<br /><br />Ray my fathers dad has never been apart of my life-thats a lie I mean his never been a good part of my life. I use to the bitter and mad about this and took it out on my father which was unfair. I didn't understand how he could stand by while Ray acted like we werent around. My other grandparents died when I was young and my grandma Feller on my dad's side died when I was going into 5th grade, but I didn't know her well from moving, and being such a big family. So I found myself putting all my hopes and dreams of what I saw in the movies of what Grandparents should be on Ray and was rudely let down.<br /><br />I grew up without any one to spoil me the way a grandparents love should. I thought everyone grew up that way, till I meet Ethan's Family. He has both sets still alive and still married. IT'S CRAZY! They took me in as on of there own, and I call them my grandparents now.<br /><br />The darkest day I had with dealing with the envy of Ethan's family was my wedding day. I had told my father I did not want to waste my time on inviting Ray and his wife, but he said I was being rude and hurtful. So I sent them a invite, two weeks before Ray's wife rsvp she couldnt' come on the fact should would be sick. (Yes two weeks ahead lol) this didn't shock me so no big deal. But the day off my wedding I was still under the impresstion Ray would be there. So after the ceremony when the photogarpher asked for Ethan's grandparents to come take picture I was excited to say wait "My grandfather is here, can I get a picture with him". I stood and waited for Ray to step up, I looked around and saw my dads face turn white as he turned away from me.<br />I walked off to ask what happend. in my mind it was something very bad was wrong. But to find out Ray called that morning and said he wasn't coming.<br /><br />When one of my aunts told my dad, he chose not to tell me in fear I would be upset and ruin my wedding day. He told my mom and brother also not to tell me. I can't explain the feeling I had when I found out, it wasn't hurt or angry but mostly petty for the shame my own father must have felt having to tell his little girl her only living grandparent didn't care to come to her wedding. I no longer give my dad grif for the actions in the past and furture of Ray, but I have made it clear that when he passes I will not attend his funeral, I will not shead a tear and will not be sad. Ray is not my grandfather, he is an old man in my father's life that I sometime have to deal with.<br /><br />It's a sad thought and sometimes I feel like crying but most days I feel content with everything. So know your in the right in my mind and Henry is lucky to have you protect him from the hurt some people can bring. I know in my heart my dad mint no harm and was hopeing for the best, it just didn't work out that way and I have no hard feelings to him.<br /><br /><br />Sorry that was sooo long :)Allison Crawfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16212074960211043545noreply@blogger.com