Monday, August 23, 2010

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Romans 8:31-39 (NIV)
(31) What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? (32) He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? (33) Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. (34) Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. (35) Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? (36) As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." (37) No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (38) For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, (39) neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I've been thinking about fear a lot lately. Fear of anything, not just death or lonliness or the more common 'big' fears that people have. I'm talking about fear of spiders, snakes, bumps in the night or just the dark. I'm talking about walking down a dark alley at night by yourself, not concerned whether or not someone will jump from behind the next corner and steal your purse or even worse. I'm talking about any and all fear, no matter how big or how small.

All fears can be conquered. All fears SHOULD be conquered. What an amazing and huge realization is that? I can't tell you the amount of times that I've read or heard this verse. Romans 8: 31 'If God be for us, who can be against us?'

But it's never meant so much before. It's never hit home like it has lately. I can do ANYTHING through my all powerful God. He will never leave my side. He will never fail to keep me safe. If something horrible happens to me, it is at my own lack of faith in Him. I can walk without fear in a world full of danger. I can stare fear in the face and only grin because my safety is in the hands of someone much more powerful than fear. I am just in awe of that fact.

If only we could all grasp the realization of the truth in those words. We would live such a peaceful lifestyle, without the fear of bankruptcy, death, lonliness...and yes, even spiders. Wow, what an amazing God we are blessed to serve.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

So there it is...

So there it is...all of me given, all of me present and bare and exposed. You can't ignore me now. You can't walk away without this image of vulnerability seared into your head.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

I've given up. I'm not sure if it's hope or fight, but it's no longer there. Where that leaves me now, I'm unsure.

At least I tried.

There is nothing different here although...everything is different. I can fall back into the familiarity of what things were, better or not, or I can accept the reality of it all. Figuring out what that reality is...that, that is the hard part.

For once I am not scared. For once I feel strong. For once I feel confident enough to be who I know I can be.

This song has played over and over in my head lately, it just says so, so much.

"I'm Moving On"

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demonsFinally content with a past I regretI've found you find strength in your moments of weaknessFor once I'm at peace with myselfI've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the facesEach one is different but they're always the sameThey mean me no harm but it's time that I face itThey'll never allow me to changeBut I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for meAnd I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not aloneThere comes a time in everyone's lifeWhen all you can see are the years passing byAnd I have made up my mind that those days are gone

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

50 Little Things I've Learned Since I Married My Husband

50 Little Things I've Learned Since I Married My Husband - Number Five
"It's always possible to go Faster."

(That's a tractor...pulling a HUGE, HEAVY sled. Impressive, I know.)

I was never into racing. Growing up my brothers and I would huddle around the television to watch football but we rarely watched any other sport. We were something to see too. Nothing is ever a 'small' event in my family. A big football game meant dragging out our jersey's, painting up our faces and hanging posters up all over the house. We'd even go as far as to seperate the living room into two; fans of opposite teams are just not meant to sit together when watching football.

When I met my husband, I was immediately thrown into the world of engines (Racing would be a better word here but this extends so much further than the realm of racing. It's about power and torque. It's about what's in the car, not the car itself. You would have to know my husband, ya know...the high performance engine builder that he understand.) And when I say immediately, I mean IMMEDIATELY. Our first date was a trip to Muncie, Indiana to watch some drag racing. We ate at Taco Bell afterwards, not the most romantic date but I will never forget it. After that day engines have become a huge part of my life.

I can not begin to tell you how many dinners I have spent smiling and nodding my head, pretending to understand how the heads work with the pistons and why it's important to have the right gasket or how a big block is different from a small block and etc. I've also learned that NOS is never to be said as 'NOS'... it's nitros people!

But despite the lack of understanding, I've found myself over the last two years actually enjoying the exhiliration of starting up a race engine for the first time or watching men and women race. I have found myself parked in a chair or a bleacher many hot days, cold nights with wind, rain...and of course dirt blowing in my face just to watch a good race. Eldora is just a hop and a skip away and so is KilKare. NASCAR, NHRA, NTPA...I know them all. I've watched men strap six engines on a tractor (AIRPLANE engines, I should add) just to get a little more power. I've been through many pair of earplugs and hoodies, shoes and chairs. (Yes, chairs.) Through it all if there's one thing I've learned it's that just when you think you've seen it all, someone will go faster, pull harder and push the limits to new heights for the next guys.

"It's a never ending battle of making your cars better and also trying to be better yourself." -Dale Earnhardt Sr.