You know that song by Francesca Battistelli? It goes:
'I'm letting go of the life I've planned for me and my dreams.'
That's where I'm at right now. Letting go and letting God, despite how much it hurts deep down to bury the things that I want the most in life. I found myself sobbing in the shower last night, praying and begging that God would just comfort my soul and relieve me of the hurt that was tearing at my heart.
It was silly, really...all because what I want in life right now is not in God's plans for me yet, or ever. That's all in his hands, in his control. And I was being selfish, petty. I was like a little child stomping their foot, demanding that I have it my way, right now despite knowing that Daddy knows best and what He says goes.
So I'm taking deep breaths, I'm praying for patience and knowing that with God at the wheel, I cannot be steered in a wrong direction. I know in the end I'll look back and be surprised that I was ever upset because Daddy knows best and for all I know, He has something great planned for me now...and those dreams that keep tugging at my heart, well, they just had to wait.