Sunday, September 16, 2012

Let's go Ohio State, Michigan, the Bungholes and all you other fooseball teams out there!

Oh how we all love fall! There are all the pretty colors of changing leaves, cool, crisp evenings, pumpkins, hayrides, bonfires, the smells that makes us take an extra sniff (or two), the tastes that make us put on an extra pound (or two) and let's not forget...football season.

Hello, my name is Jenn and I live in an anti-football home. Yes, I know that the first step in solving this problem is in admittance. I do admit. I admit that my problem is not that I have a dislike for football but that I have a dislike for all of you crazed football fans that take over this, my favorite time of year, and ruin it with all of your football craziness. I admit that I get tickled pink inside when you post about your favorite team losing. I admit that I enjoy attending your Superbowl parties just so that I can distract you from your television sets. I admit that I have argued until I am blue in the face that your beloved fooseball (is the devil! Mama said!) will never live up to my precious baseball and I admit that I even live in a small enough town that our school can't have a football team. (My poor, poor Little Bit...no football for him. I guess he'll have to play another sport!)

Hate me if you must, but you make my Sundays at work drag on, the local Fricker's loud enough to break my eardrums and my television missing quality shows. If your stadiums fell down and football came to a crashing hault, I wouldn't feel bad in the slightest bit.

Your numerous posts clutter up my Facebook wall, your spatting back and forth gives me a headache and when you have to check the score every five minutes and announce it to the world, it makes me want to cut your vocal cords. I do not and will not understand your obsession with this sport and although the season has just begun, you're already driving me to insanity. I wish you would stop.

P.S. - I will politely ask that the anti-football police avoid taking my photo when I am caught attending high-school football events - I am there out of love and with love comes sacrifice (or so I'm told). While I am yelling, cheering and seemingly to blend into the crazy, football-supporting bunch, I promise I am hating the sport that I am pretend-enjoying for the mere pleasure of confusing you all. That and my brother makes me. Well, he doesn't make me but he plays and so that forces me. You understand, right? Supporting your family and all that good jazz.

P.S.S. - I am mostly kidding (kind of) and you shouldn't take it too seriously. We're just not football fans here in this household. That is all. 

P.S.S.S. - Let's go Redlegs!








2 comments:

  1. I love football... LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! And James HATES sports. All sports. So I live in a divided house. YAY for me, right? ;)

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    1. Yes, I know you do! I remember your obsession with Farve back in the day. Jeremy luckily shares my hatred of football and I fortunately enjoy sharing in his love of baseball. Hopefully Conner will enjoy football with you so that your house will be unevenly divided in your favor. ;)

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