Sunday, June 02, 2013


I've had a tough few weeks. Nothing is majorly wrong, it just seems like every time I turn around, someone else is being given an opportunity that I am working so hard for. I hate to say that, because essentially I'm just coveting others, but it's also the truth and I refuse to lie to myself.

We are pretty tight on money right now. After needing to fix a few unexpected issues while siding the house, needing extra material and even hiring on another person so that it would get done correctly, the siding job cost a little more than we were prepared to dish out.'s done, and it looks fantastic and we love it.

BUT we (finally) canceled the cable, cut back on some unneeded groceries, and are in major saving mode now.

Of course, this all comes at a time that I've been working my butt off to save extra money in order to expand my photography business and equipment. All the money that I thought I would be able to spend? Well... it's going elsewhere right now and as much as I hate that, I have to accept it. It's necessary.

I try to remind myself that I still have it so well, regardless. I have exactly seven loyal customers that I know would never let another photographer even come close to them. I have an assistant. I have my camera, my three precious lenses and a handful of random props that I have scoured garage sale after garage sale for. I have the time spent during the week with Henry while I'm not working another job, and that alone should be worth it all.

Still, it's hard to see other photographers grow and expand so much at times when I know that it's directly related to the amount of money they are able to put into their business that I just don't have. I know that sound selfish, and it is, but it's still hard.

Sorry for the negative post, but sometimes it feels good to vent. And I have to say, I do feel a bit better now that it's off of my chest.


  1. You do not sound selfish at all! Vent away, this is your space.

  2. Don't worry, sometimes I feel the same way but with teaching...all my friends are getting hired close to where they live and with full time and are going to be sponsors of clubs/extracurriculars...whereas, I will have to commute 45 minutes to work for a half time teaching job...
    But I like how you are thankful for the time you spend with Henry. That is totally worth it!

  3. You are making great decisions for your family and your future. Things are tough to make us appreciate what we do have and what we are later blessed with.

  4. I don't think you sound selfish at all. Life is hard and it is much worse to pretend that everything is perfect all the time. It's good to vent and we're all here to listen!

  5. I don't think you sound selfish. While you are happy for the success of others, you always sit there and wonder what you're doing wrong since it's not happening to you. It's hard. I certainly hope your time comes. I definitely believe you have the talent!

  6. I can completely relate. Thank you for opening about this, because it just seems like everyone has it together, and I feel like I can't keep up. But sister, God has us and God won't fail us. I am praying for you right now!


You don't know just how lovely you are...thank you.