The Rain

It's raining a soft, slow rain this morning, the kind that makes you want to curl up with a good book and your favorite throw and just read all day long. I don't remember a period in my life when I didn't love the rain. I'm sure as a young child I may have wished the rain away for another day, but as far back as I can remember, days with rain filled me with this kind of joy that is only felt when you feel clean and new and good. Rain really does that for me, it feels almost magical sometimes.

I loved playing in the rain as a kid and yesterday I allowed Henry to strip down and play in the summer rain until he was soaked to the bone and exhausted. Why is it that as adults we don't find time to play in the rain ourselves? I sat on our back-porch watching the joy that Henry found just splashing in puddles and feeling the rain on his face and I thought about joining him but then thought again. I know the neighbors would think I'm crazy, but I'm pretty sure they already think that so that's not what held me back. Maybe it was the simple fact that I had my hair up and my make-up on and the thought of doing all that again (or going out without it) was exhausting. Or maybe it was the terrifying idea that playing in the rain wouldn't be as much fun anymore, that I had lost that wonderful feeling that I keep tucked into my heart from when I was a kid. I'm not sure.

My heart has been tugged lately to go in a different direction. A direction in which playing in the rain would be a priority instead of a dream from long past, and enjoying the little moments and things in life will be easier because I will be less distracted and focused on other things. Like this post, for example. Lately I have tried not to write unless I feel that old, familiar tug on my heart because I have something to say directly from my heart. I don't want to care about how many followers I have or how much a post is read. I don't even want to care about whether or not anyone else understands it or connects with it. I just want to be me, my whole self, and write directly from that person. This is not my career or a steady source of income, so I have to quit treating it like a job at times. This blog is an extension of myself, my feelings, and the one place where I do not have to be filtered. I want to keep it that way.

Ripples & Waves is just a small example of how I am trying, really trying, to get back to basics, march to my own beat, be true to myself, and be an overall better person, wife, and mother. Life is short and time is precious and I don't want to waste any more of it pretending to be someone else, or trying to fit in, or doing things that don't bring me joy simply because I feel like I should. I want to use things like Facebook and Instagram simply to share our lives, not compare them. And at the end of the day, I don't want to feel like they're a necessity. I love my life, I really do, and I don't want to miss out on any of it because I am distracted by things that really shouldn't matter.

So today Henry and I are going to enjoy the rain. We are going to laugh and play and I'm going to find joy in simply knowing that this precious little one is never going to be this age and this exact way ever again.