Summer is quickly fading and my desire to fade away myself is fleeing with it.
Friends, I am tired. Worn. It has been such a very long two weeks and I have found myself many times taking a very deep breath and reminding myself that this too will pass, and I will once again be cooking dinner for my family at 7 instead of 10:30, and Henry will be awake when I get home instead of sleeping peacefully in his crib, and I won't miss out on those evening cuddles, puckered kisses, dinner at the table, or conversation between husband and wife that does not include whether or not Henry pooped and when he went to bed.
I'm not sure how my part-time job (the one I took just to help contribute a little more, to have insurance, and to get me out of the house from time to time) became a full-time job, but I will assure you that I am not ready to go back to work 40 hours a week with all of my other commitments, paired with the amount of time I put into our home and our family on a weekly basis. There have been many days that I have felt like the walking dead, physically and emotionally, forcing myself just to keep moving because I was afraid that if I stopped, I wouldn't be able to start again.
Thank you Lord, tonight ends this half-month streak of having no time off and I can enjoy my Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday at home, all day, with dinner and conversation and cuddles and kisses and all the things that I have missed so very much.
The crickets have been chirping non-stop for the last two weeks and as I sit here listening to them this bright and sunny morning, I feel like they're calling to my soul to stop and enjoy this time. They are reminding me that it's good, so good, to be put into situations where the things you take for granted are taken away just long enough for you to appreciate them the way that we should. Tomorrow, as I sit at the table with my husband and son at my side, I know I will take in a newly-found sense of appreciation for the small things that have such huge impacts on our lives. Things like dinner and cuddles and kisses and conversation...and time off.