Friday, November 15, 2013

Getting It Out

Warning: rant ahead.

This week has been kind of hard. It just seems like every time I turn around, it's something else. I'm thankful and grateful for the life that I have; I am so, so very blessed. But sometimes you just need to get it all out. And so I am, right here, where I find it easiest to let it all go, with fingers to keys.

Yesterday I came home and the furnace wasn't working. I sat here for two hours as the house slowly grew colder and colder and tried to ignore it. I promised Jeremy that I would quit calling him at work when something went wrong and I didn't want to bug him with it. It seems to be working now, but we had another little glitch last night. I really do not want to think about having to replace a furnace right now.

I'm so over cleaning. Seriously though. I cleaned all day on Wednesday just to come home after work that night to see dirt and mud all the way across the house from where the boys had been out in the yard and didn't bother to take their shoes off. (They never do.) I'm going to get one of those signs that says 'excuse the mess, the kids are making memories' and just post it on my front door as an excuse.

I'm really tired of wanting to be pregnant. I know I am so extremely blessed to have one child who is perfectly healthy and wonderful and I thank God for him every day. But it seems like every month I'm late, sometimes a week + late and it DRIVES ME CRAZY. I'm okay with it not quite being 'time' yet, but I really can't stand the false hope every. single. month.

I've been busting my butt to try to drum up more photography business and it is just not working. It's tempting some days just to give up but I just keep pouring more of my heart and soul into it because I KNOW that I'm worth it and I really love it THAT much. I think my dream may be more on the line of fashion/travel photography rather than portraiture work.

Why can't people be a little more organized? Tomorrow is my nephew's birthday party and I kid you not, I don't even know what time it starts because we still haven't got an invitation (or even a phone call!). I requested to be off of work by 3 so that I could go so I have to work from 6-3 (after closing tonight at 10) in order to accommodate. One would think that if you have to sacrifice for everyone else, they'd be willing to sacrifice just a little for you.

I'm so over buying Christmas gifts and we haven't even started yet. Buying for so many people (and having no idea what to get) is so stressful. We can't even come up with anything for Henry this year.

My mother-in-law goes in for surgery on Monday. My husband wants us to go sit at the hospital for the hour before the surgery, the four hours for the surgery, and then until we can see and visit with her after; which is absolutely fine. But we don't have a babysitter (she's our babysitter!) and I asked my grandmother to watch Henry during that time. My grandmother LOVES Henry SO much but I seriously worry that she won't be able to handle him for that long. He's a two year old with a ton of energy and sometimes getting him to be still long enough to change his diaper is a challenge just for me. Did I mention that we have to be there at 5:30 a.m?

I've had to work every day this week because we have several people out at work and it's exhausting. Mostly because we've gotten at truck in four days in a row and I pulled something in my back lifting five-gallon buckets of paint. Plus no one is buying paint while it's 30 degrees outside so it's unbelievably boring. 

The dog just peed on the I suppose I will be cleaning that up now.  =(


  1. Sending you lots of hugs and love my friend!

  2. Sending you lots and lots of hugs right now. I feel your pain on the "wanting a baby front". It's super frustrating month after month! Here's hoping this is our month! :)

  3. I'm so over cleaning too. I cleaned so hard yesterday and its a complete mess. :( Saying a prayer for you, love!

  4. It's good to let it all out!
    Between M, the hubs, the dog and the cat, I've thrown in the white flag when it comes to cleaning. If the hubs wants something cleaned I've directed him to where our cleaning supplies are stored. I'm done.
    As for Christmas shopping -- I'm still trying to figure out why we're already talking about Christmas shopping. And, like you, NO IDEA what to get M.
    Thank goodness it's Friday.
    Sending hugs your way.

  5. I'm giving you a big virtual hug for EVERYTHING you're going through right now! I can only imagine how stressed out you feel right now.

    I also understand what you mean about struggling to get a business going. Sometimes, I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall trying to get this virtual assistance business up and running. Finding clients is hard! Here's to hoping we both finally start making some headway into doing what we love!


You don't know just how lovely you are...thank you.