Do you ever feel completely out of control? That feeling that at any minute you're just going to completely snap because no matter how hard you've tried, it's just not working and you feel completely out of options... well, that's where I've been today.
As much as it's hard to admit that there are times that I really have no idea what I'm going to do next, it feels good to openly confess that it happens more often than anyone would ever imagine.
The broken cabinet front that I know my husband is going to be less than pleased about when he gets home, the dishes piled in the sink that I was sure I was going to get to today, the toys strewn all over the living room floor, the lack of food in the house, and the two year old who is snuggled up by my side fighting sleep with everything he has...
all of these things weigh at my being.
I don't always need to know exactly how to fix everything. I need to learn to breathe, to let go, to find quiet moments through-out my day to quit freaking out, and just let it go until my mind and soul are stable enough to keep going.
Far too often I find that I never take even a moment for myself and it causes me to grow impatient and angry and bitter because I'm so. very. exhausted.
Today I am trusting that all of these little, minor, things will be taken care of eventually. Right at this moment, I need to breathe, to let go and to just see what happens instead of forcing it to happen.
If I take a moment of calm, for myself and for my well-being, I may just surprise myself at the end of the day with just how much I can get done.
Quite certain you read my mind. I struggle with these very same things almost every day.
ReplyDeleteSo, today, to quite my mind, I'm taking a little me time. I'm bundling up and heading out (by myself) for a cup of coffee.
Praying for you, and blessings in this new year.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth - I have SO much respect for you for being a mom. It's something that I don't know if I could ever do. It seems so exhausting, and you get so little credit for the vast amounts of work you do. It's worth it, though! Your little one is so cute, and I'm sure you're doing a great job with him! The rest is details.
ReplyDeleteYa know, it's not always easy (and it often is exhausting) but I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING.
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