Monday, April 06, 2015

From Here

I'm at a crossroads in life and I'm unsure of where to go from here. I posted awhile back mentioning the fact that Jeremy and I were struggling, and things have only gotten worse. I'm miserable in my own mind on a daily basis and at this point I'm not sure if it's actual marital issues or just a deep depression on my part. I don't know what depression looks like, feel like, because depression does not fit well on me...

The problem is that I don't have advice to take and the advice I do receive is all one-sided and pointed in the same direction: leave your husband.

But my husband is not a bad guy, nor has he done anything wrong and although I am so very unhappy right now, I just can't seem to justify giving up and leaving.

I considered a break. Leaving for a week, splitting our time with Henry, and then regrouping together to see if it helped clear our minds. I was going to leave today...and I even pulled out the suitcases, but will it help? It feels an awful lot like failure.

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  1. Don't ever look at this as a failure you have to do what you have to do to be the best version of yourself. Whatever you decide to do just remember that it's your choice and don't let others influence you. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

  2. Don't give up! I realize I don't even know you, so my opinion doesn't really matter, but I say don't give up! When I was a kid my parents went through a phase where they positively hated each other, and I'm so thankful that they stayed together and pushed through it. I think it would have been much easier for them to leave each other, but it was better for their kids for them to stay together so they did. Now things are better. No one promises "for better or for worse" imagining the "worse" part, but it looks like you're in it. :-( I'm really sorry that you're going through this, but I hope you can hang on to your marriage. Either way, know that a lot of people in your life love you and support you. And you can always turn to the blog community for support too. :-)

  3. Oh sad my friend. I have no advice for you but will be sending positive thoughts your way. All will be well. And all will work out how it's supposed to. Trust in yourself and your instincts... they are SUPER powerful! :)

  4. Oh Jenn, I'm so sorry to read/hear this. Keep in your faith, pray for guidance, and listen to your instincts. I'm praying that you find the answers you are searching for.

  5. So sorry to hear this ... but I'm casting my vote in the 'Don't Give Up!' category. I love the saying about the darkest hour being just before dawn ... & I've found it to be true. Refresh your memory on all the reasons you fell in love in the first place ... & look at your vows & the commitment you made to each other. I'd also suggest counseling ...for your depression & your marriage. There are some very qualified people out there to offer help & guidance. And pray like never before.

  6. Praying for you all. I wish I knew what to tell you....but I don't....because I am not in your shoes. I don't say that to be smug. I just mean that only you and Jeremy, and God can figure this one out. No matter what you will make the best decision for you all. Sometimes it is hard, but sometimes the hardest is the best.


You don't know just how lovely you are...thank you.