Tuesday, February 02, 2010

'Bucket List' Tuesdays

"I'll try to touch the world like you touched my life and I'll find my way to be your hands. I'll abandon every selfish thought; I surrender everything I've got. You can have everything I am and perfect everything I'm not. I am willing, I'm not afraid you give me strength when I say ...I wanna be your hands, I wanna be your feet." -Newsboys

While at work today, I pondered just what I would add to my 'bucket list' this week. I have a lot of options, some deeper than others. Some are just crazy dreams, some are just the simplest of things. I can't decide whice route I want to go. Emotionally, I'm feeling pretty deep; like I could spill a thousand tears and words into a story. I might do that tonight. Physically I'm just shallow, beat and poured out to nothing. I need sleep. I will be turning in early tonight...and my body just aches. It's unusual for me. I hope I'm not coming down with something.

I thought a lot about death today. I think that had a lot to do with the many funerals I've heard about this last week and a lot of it could even be stemming back from 'The Host'. I'm not sure which has the greater pull in my mind. It's hard to make a list of things to do before you die...not because you don't know what you want to do, but once you list them, once you make it known that that's what you DO want to do, well, if you don't do them than you're setting yourself up for a disappointment, for failure.

I often wonder how many people say "I'm going to do this before I die, I have to...if I don't, I just couldn't die happy" and then never get to live that wish, that want out. I don't want to be one of those people. Thing is, you have to seize each day with all that it has to offer. You can't waste time, you can't sit around saying 'one day' or 'when I have this done, then I'll do it'. I'm fully convinced that all things are in God's plan. So if that's the case, where can you really go wrong?

It's amazing how my mind works. As I sat here writing this, still unsure as to what I was going to add to my bucket list this week, it hit me. I want to take a mission trip, work in the mission field, be God's hands and feet. It's been a passion of mine, a calling, for many years now and I've yet to do anything about it. When the earthquakes hit Haiti this year, it took all I had in me not to buy a plane ticket and fly overseas. I know that sounds insane, but it's true. Jeremy and I even talked about it but it seems so...unattainable, impossible. There's so much we'd have to give up. School would be ruined for this quarter, we could lose our jobs...but I honestly find it worth it. Of course, as I say this I'm sitting in the comfort of my home, doing nothing to help.

So number two on my bucket list:: 2) I want to work in the mission feild, be God's hands and feet, help others even if it means giving up even the most precious of things.

::Jenn's Bucket List::

1) Become a writer; one who touches people's lives and creates words that can be felt and not just read.
2) I want to work in the mission field, be God's hands and feet, help others even if it means giving up even the most precious of things.

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You don't know just how lovely you are...thank you.