I feel confident right now. I feel secure within myself.
There's something about growing older that allows you to break your shell of insecurity and embrace who you are and who you are becoming fully. I feel that I'm getting there. Or are there. Maybe. Not fully but close.
I've got my life mostly figured out. Mostly. It's nice, peaceful.
I'm not rich. I don't live some super exciting lifestyle. But I'm happy, content. If I spend the day alone, just me and my camera, me and my notebook, me and just the world around me, I'm full of life. I've discovered that simplicity is the key to happiness in my life. The simpler, the better.
I find joy in sunshine. Like, when I go into work and the sun still hasn't come out and I walk to the front of the store and there it is, rising above the buildings. I fall in love. I just stand there taking it in. I soak up the warmth, I long for the burn in my eyes. It sounds silly, I know. But for a moment I'm at complete peace and total awe. And I really do love that burn, it's my favorite part.
I've found that I can totally appreciate a great painting, photograph, song or piece of literature. I mean, REALLY appreciate it. Like, stare for hours, listen for hours, read for hours. The same thing, turning it's meaning over and over in my head. I think I could get lost forever if you let me.
I've never really been that patient in my life. I've never really found peace in being alone or being simple. I like to move, I like to surround myself with company always. But there's a specialness to being that opposite that I hope to hold on to for a very long time. I like finding myself. I like feeling like that I've done just that: found myself. I like feeling like I know who I am, without influences of other people. It makes me just giddy inside.