Ramblings

Tonight I am just plain tired. The last two days I've barely moved from the couch; I just haven't felt right. I keep having horrible contractions and despite drinking and drinking water I feel so dehydrated. I did my best to do my job at work tonight and ignore everything but it was hard to do. I'm not looking forward to the 10 hour days the next three days feeling this way. I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it and I know it will, I just wish I knew why my body seems to be screaming that something is wrong. It's probably all in my head; being a first time mom every little pain and twitch makes me worry although I usually just ignore it all. I figure if anything is ever really wrong, I'll know it.

I hope the next 10 weeks go by quickly. I'm so ready to see my little guy. I keep telling all of our friends and family that I'm going to force him to be here at 37 weeks but I know that that's beyond my control. I'm not anxious about delivery at all, I kinda feel like I was built for birth but I suppose I won't really know until I get there. I'm still pretty set on going drug-free even though everyone keeps telling me that I'll change my mind.

Either way, things are ready. The crib is set up, the highchair is in the kitchen, the car seat in the car. We have a ton of diapers and lotions and baby bath and more clothes than what we know what to do with. The baby book is as filled out as it can be. I have one more baby shower in about a month and then we'll finish getting whatever we don't get then that we really need. In the meantime I'm just trying to be patient...and failing miserably.

Jitters

Today I am photographing my first wedding.

Am I nervous? You bet'cha!

Am I excited? Yup, that too!!

I have confidence in myself and in my ability to deliver exactly what this couple is asking for, I guess it's just that never failing nagging feeling that you'll disappoint that has me all jittery. I've thought about it so much that I literally dreamed last night of different poses and break-outs and photos to take. Now I'm just praying that the rain holds off!

A Baby Story :: Months 5 & 6

It's been awhile since I wrote a little pregnancy post but my, oh my how things have changed!

We found out we were having a little boy. I'll have to admit that I was kinda hoping for a girl but of course, I don't mind much, I just want our little one to be healthy. After much thought and a few too many suggestions we settled on the name Henry. No, it's not a family name. We get that question a lot. Although...my dad's dad's name was Henry but I never met him and my dad is kinda upset at us for our choice of name because his dad was never in his life. My grandmother has informed me that she had a brother and a half-brother named Henry. My favorite uncle's middle name is Henry. (My aunt assumed we were naming Henry after him and we just let her believe it, we love them both so much that it made no difference to us.) So in a round about way... I guess it is a family name. But that's not why we choose it.

My newest obsession has been watching Henry move. Before I could feel him and if I had Jeremy's hand in the right place at the right time, he could feel him too. But now...man, every time the little guy moves I can see my whole stomach shift and shake and move. It's just amazing. Mason has been kicked a time or two too...which I find hilarious. I'm so in love with this little guy and I haven't even met him yet. The path to motherhood is such an insane roller coaster ride. I just love it.

There are the down sides. I pretty much hate eating because I feel so bloated for hours afterwards. I can barely get comfortable to sleep. I can be sitting down doing nothing and all of a sudden get winded. There are aches and pains and cramps and swelling. I know it'll be all worth it though and the good completely outweighs the bad.

We're picking up our crib next week and I've already got a changing table set up and Henry's own little dresser. My first baby shower is in two weeks and I'm so excited to start setting up all of his little things. I've already got enough clothes to last him his entire newborn through 6 month life but I assume most people end up with a ton of clothes that they can't imagine using. I try to avoid buying anything although I've picked up a thing or two here and there. My grandmother and I's favorite hobby has turned into window shopping for Henry, haha.

In other news I have two weddings coming up in the next month that I'm photographing, the first being just next weekend. I'm kinda anxious and nervous about them but I'm sure things will turn out great. The Reds started out strong this year and are slowly falling behind but they are the team known for rallying so I'm not losing faith just yet. I started my new job and so far it's been just wonderful. Mason is still spoiled rotten and Stinky is just...Stinky. Life is overall amazing and that whole 'nesting' instinct that mothers-to-be supposedly have has totally kicked my butt. I can't stand to see even a speck of dust in the house which means that I spend just about every free second I have cleaning.

Overall I'm just excited for my little man to get here and at the same time I'm enjoying pregnancy so much that I never really want it to end. It's hard to believe that the time has gone so fast. I know he'll be here before we know it!

For my little one

I love watching you; those little ripples across my skin.

The pokes and the kicks, it's almost as if you're already here.

As my body changes I rejoice in the miracle of your life.

I yearn to hold you and yet, I know I will miss having you so close.

I wonder who you will be and pray that you accomplish your every dream.

I know that I'm just the smallest of stepping stones in your life.

The love your father and I have for you will always be unconditional.

We just hope we can raise you in a happy, Christian home.

Can you hear the songs that I sing, the stories I read?

I just want you to know that I'm here and that I care.

Running my fingers across my skin, I tell you I love you.

Before going for work, Daddy kisses you and tells you he loves you too.

We can't wait to meet you, little Henry.

But until then, we will do our best to show you our love from out here.