When I find the time to type out these little blogs, I usually consider that my 'me' time. It's a time to reflect and relax and let my mind wander free for a few minutes.
Usually I try to keep a positive outlook on things, but tonight I feel like crying. I'm frustrated and worn out and ready to give up.
Because Henry would never take to the breast, I've been pumping and feeding him breast milk that way since the day he was born. But the last week or two my milk supply has decreased significantly and most of the time when I pump I don't even have enough milk for one bottle.
It's frustrating and disheartening and although there are much worse things, I just don't want to give up on this for him. I know that my milk is best for him and honestly, it makes me feel like a failure that I can't seem to give that to him fully anymore.
I know that if we have to switch to formula, he'll be just fine. Like I said, I know there's much worse things. I guess I just feel like I've worked really hard to do this for him and my efforts just aren't paying off and no matter how hard I try, I can't change the outcome.
I suppose I should just be grateful that I was able to produce and feed him this way for this long. Thankful that he is as healthy as he is and that we've had no other 'real' problems thus far. I just love my little guy so much that I want the very best for him, no matter what.