Today I'm exhausted. I know that that's a lot of days for a lot of people, but I'm usually pretty good at not being exhausted. I'm a real trooper and I can push through most things, but I've had this feeling lately, that hangin-on-to-the-edge feeling that I'm pretty close to a collapse. I feel like I'm just doing too much. Do you ever get that feeling? Like if you add one more thing to your list you may just break-down and that will be the end of it all? Yeah? Well that's me right about now.
I feel like I have the normal stuff under control. Things that I and others, like my husband and son, expect me to do.
I keep the house clean.
I cook dinner every night.
I do the laundry, fold it and put it away.
I work my 20 hour weekend at Lowes.
Then there's the other things, the things that I feel like aren't so 'normal' and yet others still expect me to do them.
I make a 45 minute trip south once a week to spend with my grandmother.
I am completely taking my husband's full-time course load this semester.
I attempt to run my photography/crochet business on the side.
Maybe it doesn't sound like much to anyone else. But I'm pretty much on the edge. I do everything at home except for mow the grass, I go once a week and spend a day helping my grandmother do the things she's not able to anymore, I work hard to try and please my clients (And it seems like every single one of them has canceled on me last minute lately. Despite the fact that I've requested time off of work and everything else. HUGE bummer.), I dream of new crochet designs and then beat myself up when I don't have the time to do them, I work at Lowes on the weekend and miss everything that's going on; family events, church functions, fairs, concerts...you name it, I seem to miss it. Work all week, work all weekend. It feels like all I do is work!
Throw my husband's daily homework assignments, weekly essays and projects into that mix and all the projects I've been trying to accomplish in our new home and I'm ready to break.
Do you ever get that way? Am I doing too much or is it just me?