Monday, April 01, 2013

Sex, babies & the in-betweens.

This post is probably going to be a little out of character and blunt on my part, but I swear there's a tornado running through my mind and I need to calm it a bit in order to focus on ANYTHING right now. You know the saying 'when it rains, it pours'? I truly believe that that's true. I think it's a true testament to the verses in Ecclesiastes that tells us there's a time for everything in life.

I mentioned earlier today in a post that Jeremy and I are trying really, really hard to get pregnant again. We tried the 'we just won't try, but we won't NOT try either' route and it didn't happen. Then we tried 'timing' things just perfectly and it didn't happen. Now we're straight 'doing it' every other day - and we're hoping it'll happen. (Let me just say, having a kid can do something to your libido. We used to 'do it' every single day, sometimes two or three times a day, when we first got married and there are nights now, even though we're trying, that I really wonder how in the world we kept that up.) I would be beyond the moon ecstatic if it happened THIS month even. I don't want to spend my entire vacation toting around tampons and I think it would be sweet to have a winter month baby since we have a summer month baby.

I know that it's not in my control, and I'm thankful that we have such a wonderful, perfect son now. If we never have another, I'd be blessed beyond measure.

We are getting ready to head to the home improvement store to possibly buy our siding. I say possibly because we're nervous willies (as usual) about the whole thing and it's impossible (as usual) for me to make up my mind on the color. We are so extremely blessed to have a friend that is a contractor who came out and measured, gave us a list of the supplies we would need, and is even going to help us put it up. He does siding for a living, so there's no possible way that we can mess this up. It's the hugest breath of fresh air and I've actually sat in wonder lately at how much God can bless us at times. A huge weight has been lifted from our shoulders, not only with the siding part, but knowing that a professional has told us that our house is in great shape and sound.

Henry is teething and he's a nightmare to deal with some days. He doesn't want to eat, he doesn't want to play independently, and I am one exhausted Mama when I have to tote around my 20 month old while trying to get things done. By the time Jeremy gets home in the evening, I am ready to just break emotionally sometimes. I think a big part of this is the stress from other things in our life right now too, but I would love if you would whisper a prayer for me and my patience.

I've come to the conclusion that I have way too many hobbies. This fact alone is overwhelming me because I love them all. You can't get better at something if you don't practice it often, but you also can't practice everything at once. I have two weddings to photography coming up very, very soon and I'm a nervous wreck because quite frankly, me and my camera are not friends right now. I'd rather sew, crochet or create than take photos lately. I've found myself more content being involved and having a semi-crappy cell-phone pic than I was when I was snapping photos of everything happening around me, standing on the outside and not really being involved. I have more regrets of 'missing' the moment with involvement rather than 'missing' a great photo of the moment.

Baseball season started today and I'm so glad. I love me some Reds, and it gives us something to watch pretty much every day. I'm so over tv and tv shows and Jeremy and I have done very little tv-watching lately.  We feel as if society gets WAY too wrapped up in television and we've been guilty of it ourselves at times. We used to rush home from dinner with friends in order to watch 'Deadliest Catch' even though the DVR was recording it. There's something seriously wrong if you'd give up good time with good friends just to watch a tv show. We realized that fairly quickly and nipped it in the butt. TV shouldn't be a focus of our lives, ever.

I feel like I can start running again pretty soon. I'm still not sure that I didn't break my ankle versus spraining it, considering there is a huge bump on one side of my ankle that is just not going away, but whatever I did, it seems to be healing fairly well. I tried a small 'mini' run from the grocery store door to the car with Henry today and it didn't really hurt to have that added pressure on it. I'll have to just take it slow and see how it goes. I feel like getting back out every night and exercising again would really help with stress. Even thought I only got to do it for a few nights, I miss it.

You didn't realize you were going to have to read an entire book when you opened this blog post, huh? Like I said - lots on my mind! If you made it this far, bless your wonderful heart. You must be one special friend!

14 comments:

  1. I know how you feel regarding the baby making front...so stressful. Now we are trying the temperature charting/ovulation tests.

    Yay for having such a wonderful friend who helped you figure out all the siding stuff. :)

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    1. It was such a sigh of relief when Jeremy talked to him and he said he would be more than willing to help us.

      I feel bad when I think about stressing about having a 2nd baby when I have this one that is so perfect. I hope that the temp/ovulation tracking will help you guys!

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  2. I know how you feel. When we were really trying for our second, it just wasn't happening. But then I thought- I'm just NOT going to think about it anymore. If it happens, it happens. And bam, it happened. Don't be hard on yourself. Let up on yourself and just ENJOY. It will happen!! :)

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    1. I know you're right. It's just so hard to let go sometimes!

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  3. Henry would make a wonderful big brother. Keeping you in our prayers!

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  4. Love your honesty and openness. My hubby and I are trying for #2 as well. As much as I don't want to stress out about it, it's so hard not to ... Especially when you have a Type A personality. Sometimes I think we just have to keep remembering that God is in control.

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    1. That is the key! I know that God's timing is best, no matter how I may feel about it. Sometimes I just struggle with being patient and waiting.

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  5. I can relate to you on the stress of baby-making. We had a hard time getting pregnant with Jaqs and ultimately had to get help because I have PCOS, but the schedule itself can be EXHAUSTING to keep up with! It's not as much fun when it becomes 'work' ;) Ha! I'll keep you guys in my prayers though, and I know it will happen exactly when it's supposed to!

    Oy, teething is AWFUL. Prayers for you there, too, mama!!

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    1. It's not so bad on days that have been fairly easy, but when 11 rolls around and we're both exhausted and its been a really long day, it does start to feel like work.

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  6. I love how you are bluntly open about trying for a baby. I have to finish my teaching internship before we can try (no maternity leave, so if I do get pregnant, I fail the internship and can't get my official teaching license).

    morrellfairytale.blogspot.com

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  7. Oh yikes! I think I would definitely hold off trying then!

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  8. Reading this post and the comments from others helped me to feel better. We haven't been able to have children yet because of some serious health issues on my part, and it's a downer sometimes. I'd really love to be a mother. But even though the "causes" of everyone's conception woes may be different, at least we can all love and support each other. That's nice.

    Cheers!
    Natashya

    thoseweirdheims.blogspot.com

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You don't know just how lovely you are...thank you.