The one thing I LOVE about having a somewhat private blog (as in, away from my close family and friends here in Ohio) is that I can typically share things that I normally would not share. Most of you know that Jeremy and I have been trying to expand our family for the past...oh, two years?
The last 5 or 6 months have been especially hard on me because for some reason, my body has went crazy and things are never 'regular' anymore. So, every month when I am apparently 'late' I get all excited, hopeful (and kind of crazy) trying to convince myself not to get excited, hopeful and well...kind of crazy. The best part for Jeremy is that I've learned just to keep my trap shut, let him focus on other things unless I really begin to think...well, could we? Then I buy a pregnancy test, take it, it turns out negative and then typically the very next day Ms. Flo shows up rearing her ugly head.
This month is no exception to this new normal. I'm late...as usual, I'm anxious...as usual, and everything in me wants to go buy a pregnancy test because, HELLO, wouldn't this be the best Christmas present ever? But, I am refraining, and I'm trying (and failing) to do it patiently.
I always feel so horrible when I complain about our trouble getting pregnant the second time around because it is our second time around. We have one, perfect son who would be MORE than enough for us if we never had another. But, then it is frustrating as well...and I get stuck between the frustration and the joy of having Henry here already.
Say a little prayer for me; for patience and understanding that this is not MY timing, but God's, and for Jeremy...who has to deal with the little crazy that I sometimes become this time of the month. Not to mention this time of the year!! And well, pray that things get back to normal. Because having a cycle that's 28 days one month and 35 the next is driving me insane. Seriously.
Thanks in advance everyone. I hope you are enjoying your holiday season!