I don't really remember dreaming about growing up and becoming much of anything when I was a small child. I'm sure there were times when my grandparents, teachers, and other positive influences around me encouraged me, but mostly I just remember thinking that growing up meant being depressed and unhappy and poor and doing nothing but working and drinking. It's depressing to say and think about, but I guess I never really thought about it until now either. I never wanted to grow up.
As I grew a little older, however, say....12 or 13, I started to dream. I dreamed of marrying Justin Timberlake and having little blonde-headed babies (despite us both being brunettes?) and a world in which I never, ever had to worry about money again. I taped magazine pages on my walls and wrote love letters and was absolutely smitten with good old JT. Give it another year or two and I would snap out of my boy-band obsessed dreams and actually start reality-dreaming.
I specifically remember a conversation with my best friend about how we dreamed our lives would be:
I would marry at 21, have my first baby at 23, my second at 25, and I would be a stay-at-home Mama and wife to a brutally handsome tall, dark and funny man who did nothing but shower me with love gifts and worship the ground that I walked on. (I'll take this time to thank all those cheesy, romantic love stories and movies I read and watched as a child for encouraging me to think that true love meant that your husband was to be completely obsessed and do nothing but worship you.) I dreamed of a big house with big dogs and a happy family (with perfectly behaved children) who had parties all the time and friends over to entertain every single night. I would drive a fancy SUV with all the bells and whistles and would be drop-dead gorgeous in my designer clothing and I would never want for anything.
Fast forward to the present, reality sets in, and I have to praise my Lord Almighty that sometimes what we think we want is not at all what we really want, and He knows best for us, even when it comes to our deepest desires.
I did get married at 21 (to a shorter, not quite as dark, but still brutally handsome man) and I did have that first precious baby at 23. But the rest...well, it didn't quite play out in tune with my dreams. Instead, I have been blessed with less and am so very thankful for it.
My husband loves deeply and openly but I would not call him obsessed, nor does he worship the ground that I walk on. (Wouldn't that get annoying after awhile?) He is Christ-centered and a true family man. He works hard and provides our family with everything that we need. He is truly God-sent, even if he was just sent for me.
Although I still dream of being a stay-at-home Mama and wife full-time, I am living the next best-case scenario with a part-time job that allows me to stay home with my son so that he never needs to go to a babysitter or daycare. He has been raised 100% by his parents and that was a dream and desire that I could have never dreamed of having when I was younger. We own our home, which is not big by any standards, but is more than enough for our family, along with three vehicles - none of which have all the bells and whistles, or any, for that matter. We have two wonderful dogs who stand about a foot tall (we like to keep things small around here) and I don't think I own one piece of clothing that would be considered 'designer'.
Despite my dreams being a little...off, I will say this: I always have everything I need.
God truly provides and sometimes I have to look back and just shake my head in amazement in awe at the ability He has to make our dreams come true before we even know that they're our dreams.
My life is more than what I could have ever dreamed it could be and I am head-over-heels in love with the way that He's planning it out to be.
Now go link up for this week's prompt:
We all imagined what our lives would like like when we were "all grown up"... how does that compare to what your life looks like now?