Friday, July 25, 2014

Tough. Hard. Seemingly Impossible.

Can I just stop for a minute and say it: life can be downright tough. Hard. Seemingly impossible.

I've been a busy bee as of late - I started watching two little boys (ages 2 and 7 months) in my home from 7 to 3 Monday through Friday while maintaining my other part time job, photography, crocheting, and keeping up our home.

It can be a little overwhelming at times.

But that's beside the point and totally off-topic.

(The easy decision. The hat that fits the best. My sunshine and rain and all good things captured in the messiness and sweet and wild that is my little boy.)
I'm not even sure what the point is here. Just that, well, I have some tough decisions to make. And tough decisions can make life seem tough. Hard. Seemingly impossible.

I guess I just don't know where to go from here. I feel stuck exactly where I am for at least another month? Longer? I don't know.

I do know that I have to make decisions, and stick to them - no matter how much I want to stray, bend rules, or push limits. I have to stand my ground. It's the only way I'm going to grow and become what I've envisioned.

I need discipline. Something I've always lacked and have to constantly push for.

Sometimes I feel like I've dipped my toes into a few too many pools. I like how each feel, effect me, help me to grow - but I am running from one to the other, jumping in head-first, because I don't have the time to savor each one.

My head fits a few too many hats - and I just need to hang a few up for the time being, revisit them later when the season is right. But which ones? How do you walk away from something you love in order to savor something else you love? How do you decide what you want to do with your limited time in life? How do you prioritize when it all seems important, wonderful, exciting?

I hate tough decisions. Hard decisions. Decisions that are seemingly impossible.

But they have to be made, and soon, because time is limited and I want to make the very most of the time that I have.

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4 comments:

  1. Ugh your business is making ME feel dizzy. :( Decisions are tough and I am no good at being disciplined either! Interested, as always, to see where life takes you next!

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  2. Although tough, I am praying you end up where you need to be!

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  3. You are a strong lady. Love you!

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  4. You are a fabulous wife, mother and friend. I hope that things fall into place but as you know, it's HIS plan and He will give you exactly what you need, when you need it.

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You don't know just how lovely you are...thank you.