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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Perfection in this Life


I don’t have to be perfect to know that I could be. In this world of too big and too small, too fast and too slow, too rich and too poor…I still know that I am capable of perfection. Just not here.

Have you ever watched a flower unfold? My husband and I was invited over to our neighbors house one evening right as the sun was going down to watch the many buds growing slowly uncurl and then burst open into a beautiful, blooming flower. It was like birth. Something so small and incapable of much making it’s appearance to the world and becoming something beautiful to be admired and loved. It will grow and produce and then it will slowly begin to wither, losing it’s beautiful petals and then quickly fading away.

Just like life. Our lives. The lives of our grandmothers and grandfathers, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers. The lives that will be our children’s and grandchildren’s. The cycle of life never ends.

But not without leaving something behind. Tiny seeds will fall and in the future, those tiny bits of nothing will turn into beautiful flowers just like the ones before it. Each flower will take bits of the last with it, it’s color and smell and attributes.

Just like us. We are constantly absorbing bits and pieces of the world around us. We learn from our parents and grandparents, our brothers and sisters and friends. We are constantly fed that there is a certain way of being and if we don’t conform to this, our lives will be unfulfilled and empty. It’s almost as if we think that if we don’t follow their lead, we will miss the meaning of life.

Sometimes adapting these attributes are a good thing: My father is honest. My brother never waivers from what he believes. My grandfather was a hard worker and my grandmother was a prayer-warrior. Other times they’re best left untouched: My mother was a manipulator. My sister constantly lives in fear. My best friend will never admit when she’s wrong.

In this life of constant influence, we have to pick who we will be, who we want to be around us and what attributes are best adapted or discarded. The lives of our children, our grandchildren and those after us will depend on our decisions. Our daughters will respect themselves as much as we do, our sons will learn confidence from watching their fathers. The future weighs constantly on our shoulders and although we can not perfect ourselves in this life, God will not fail to one day show us where we have failed when we could have succeeded.

‘Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope. You’re going to do great things, I already know. God’s got His hand on you so don’t live life in fear. Forgive and forget but don’t forget why you’re here. Take your time to pray. These are the words I would say.’

Fearless: Remembering 9/11

Today we take time to remember the tragedy of the attacks of our country nine years ago. I've thought about it a lot myself. I remembered this little tid-bit from the publisher on Max Lucado's book 'Fearless' and thought it was a great way of looking at today.


"Each sunrise seems to bring fresh reasons for fear.

They’re talking layoffs at work, slowdowns in the economy, flare-ups in the Middle East, turnovers at headquarters, downturns in the housing market, upswings in global warming. The plague of our day, terrorism, begins with the word terror. Fear, it seems, has taken up a hundred-year lease on the building next door and set up shop. Oversized and rude, fear herds us into a prison of unlocked doors. Wouldn’t it be great to walk out?

Imagine your life, wholly untouched by angst. What if faith, not fear, was your default reaction to threats? If you could hover a fear magnet over your heart and extract every last shaving of dread, insecurity, or doubt, what would remain? Envision a day, just one day, where you could trust more and fear less.

Can you imagine your life without fear?
"

How amazing it is that we can live without fear through our amazing, powerful God! I haven't read 'Fearless' yet, but I'm looking forward to picking it up in the future. I bought my husband the new Switchfoot this week (via the photo) and one of their songs reminded me so much of today. It's called 'The Sound'.

The static comes in slow
You can feel it grow
Our stream of conscience flows
Under the streets below

The rivers made of sound
Still running underground
Runs like a silent flood
We run as thick as blood

Can you hear it rise
Up from the ground?
Can't drown it out
Can you hear it now?

This is the sound
Of a heartbeat
This is the sound
From the discontented mouths
Of a haunted nation

We are the voice of breaking down
Can you hear me?

This is the sound
Of the desperation bound
By our own collision
We are the voice of breaking down

The static comes alive
Beneath the broken skies
John Perkins said it right
Love is the final fight

Let it rise above
Rise above
There is no song
Louder than love

Let's remember today knowing that we can live without fear and cling to the hope that there will never be a song louder than God's love.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Get Behind Me

'Get behind me, Satan!!' I've found myself saying this many times this week. He has been nipping at my heels every second that he possibly could. My prayer every morning has been for patience, kindness and love to fill my heart. It has been that gossip would not fall on my ears and that my mouth would speak evil of no one. It has been that others would see me as a gentle, positive person, excluding all negative aspects from their view and mine. It has been hard. Everything has went wrong. Too many people coming to me to vent, to gossip...

No coffee filters. Toliets stopping up. Drains overflowing. Orders being wrong. Shipments not arriving. Stock running out. People running late. Long days. Late nights. Early mornings.

Every day: 'Get behind me, Satan!' It has been such a long week but God carried me through and although I am tired, I know that He will never allow more to fall on my shoulders than what I can hande. I will continue to pray for patience, kindness and love...no matter how rough of a week that Satan will dish out to me.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Lucky


So we lit some candles.
Ordered chinese in.
And we talked.

We talked about the future.
How unknown it remains.
We talked about the past.
And how it's unchanged.

I cried.
We laughed.
It was perfect.

This is the life I dreamed about as a little girl.
I am so, so lucky.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Thirst


"How in the world can a person be born, be educated, fall in or out of love, have a job, be married, give birth, raise kids, see death, cry, scream, giggle, drink, eat, smoke, climb up or down the ladder, retire, and die without ever asking why? Never asking "Why am I here?" Or, worse yet, asking why and being content with no answer. The most deadly trick of Satan is not to rob us of answers. It's to steal our questions."
- Max Lucado

I've fallen in love with Mr. Lucado lately. The Troy Library is missing most of his books because they are piled on the coffee table, the back of the couch, the end table and the floor next to my side of the bed. I've had a thirst that is just unquenchable. I want more. I need more. There is something great coming, friends. God is preparing me. I can only imagine what for, but I am excited. And a bit scared.

Be prayerful, please. And read that quote again, it's pretty powerful.

Monday, August 23, 2010

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Romans 8:31-39 (NIV)
(31) What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? (32) He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? (33) Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. (34) Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. (35) Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? (36) As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." (37) No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (38) For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, (39) neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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I've been thinking about fear a lot lately. Fear of anything, not just death or lonliness or the more common 'big' fears that people have. I'm talking about fear of spiders, snakes, bumps in the night or just the dark. I'm talking about walking down a dark alley at night by yourself, not concerned whether or not someone will jump from behind the next corner and steal your purse or even worse. I'm talking about any and all fear, no matter how big or how small.

All fears can be conquered. All fears SHOULD be conquered. What an amazing and huge realization is that? I can't tell you the amount of times that I've read or heard this verse. Romans 8: 31 'If God be for us, who can be against us?'

But it's never meant so much before. It's never hit home like it has lately. I can do ANYTHING through my all powerful God. He will never leave my side. He will never fail to keep me safe. If something horrible happens to me, it is at my own lack of faith in Him. I can walk without fear in a world full of danger. I can stare fear in the face and only grin because my safety is in the hands of someone much more powerful than fear. I am just in awe of that fact.

If only we could all grasp the realization of the truth in those words. We would live such a peaceful lifestyle, without the fear of bankruptcy, death, lonliness...and yes, even spiders. Wow, what an amazing God we are blessed to serve.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

So there it is...

So there it is...all of me given, all of me present and bare and exposed. You can't ignore me now. You can't walk away without this image of vulnerability seared into your head.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

I've given up. I'm not sure if it's hope or fight, but it's no longer there. Where that leaves me now, I'm unsure.

At least I tried.

There is nothing different here although...everything is different. I can fall back into the familiarity of what things were, better or not, or I can accept the reality of it all. Figuring out what that reality is...that, that is the hard part.

For once I am not scared. For once I feel strong. For once I feel confident enough to be who I know I can be.

This song has played over and over in my head lately, it just says so, so much.

"I'm Moving On"

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demonsFinally content with a past I regretI've found you find strength in your moments of weaknessFor once I'm at peace with myselfI've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the facesEach one is different but they're always the sameThey mean me no harm but it's time that I face itThey'll never allow me to changeBut I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for meAnd I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not aloneThere comes a time in everyone's lifeWhen all you can see are the years passing byAnd I have made up my mind that those days are gone