Choices

I am such a hypocrite sometimes and I hate that I am but let's face it - we all are.

I cannot stand negative people. I cannot stand to hear people complain and it takes almost everything in me not to give them my two cents when they do. I cannot stand when people make excuses for themselves and I cannot stand when people have a 'better-than-thee' attitude just because they choose to do things differently than you.

Am I ever negative? Uh..yeah. Do I often complain? Yup, sure do! I wish I could say that I didn't. At least I can own up to it, I suppose and besides - I like to think that I'm less negative than most and I sure TRY not to complain a lot.

I usually try not to judge, everyone out there is fighting some sort of battle within their lives and just because we view it as less difficult, doesn't mean that it's any less difficult for them.

But here's the thing.

This is how I CHOOSE to live my life. I choose to be a (mostly) stay-at-home mom. I choose to go without a lot of things because of that choice. But to me, this time with my son is WAY more important to me than most things. If I felt that he wasn't well taken care of and that we couldn't survive this way, then things would be different. But before that time comes, you can bet I'd go without cable, internet, vacations and anything else that I could cut out before I would sacrifice this time with him.

Pride is something else that's important to me and just because I'd sacrifice most - I won't sacrifice it either. If at any point Jeremy and I couldn't provide for ourselves and our son, I would take on a full-time job. But we will not be going to the state and asking for assistance. We will not be asking for hand-outs just because we push the choices we make from something wonderful into something stupid. We have and are doing this on our own and just because I don't work much doesn't mean that your 'hard-earned money' is paying for me to stay home and be with my son.

Most people don't make the choice that we made and say they wish that they had or could. But then they turn around and look at us like we're ignorant or stupid for the choice that we DID make. It just makes my blood boil. What you do every day, what you think that you have to have or whatever it is that you're working towards is what's most important to you in life. If money, shiny new cars, big homes, fancy clothes and shoes and jewelry are what's most important to you; then have at it. Trade these few precious years with your children away for them. That doesn't bother me a bit! But don't turn around and look at me like I'm some charity case because my children are more important to me.

Sorry for the angry blog, but people sure do know how to step on my toes. Sometimes we just have to get it out and then move on!