I've been reflecting and thinking a lot about purpose lately and what things in my life weigh on me the most and why. There are the obvious things that most of us stress about: money, time, and whether or not we're doing enough, and then there are those things that we have to dig deeper to discover.
We are just shy of two weeks into January and every time I have sat to reflect and think about the things that stress me out most in my life, I keep coming back to one thing: my business.
The biggest stress of my life right now is the constant worry and anxiety about whether or not I'm doing enough for my business to grow and prosper. Why I am not getting a certain client or why a certain client did not buy a certain image or why I keep allowing myself to be pulled into situations that I'm not comfortable in just for the sake of growing, prospering, and moving forward.
I realize that it takes leaps of faith and great courage to grow, but I also am not sure if it's worth the amount of time I spend worrying about it all.
The purpose, the entire reason, I went into this business was because I loved it. But I'm not sure I do anymore and that is so sad.
So, I've decided to take this year off. I'm going to sit back and let things go. I may take on a few clients (I have one wedding booked in July) but otherwise, I'm going to let go and let God.
I want to get back to loving what I'm doing and I want to get back to doing more creative photography instead of constantly trying to push myself to find and please clients. I want to learn and feel completely comfortable in different, tough situations. I want to find my passion and purpose when it comes to photography...and if that's not portrait work, then so be it.
I think this will be good and I think that in a year's time, I may just find exactly what I'm passionate about in this creative world and I think that in the end, my business will be better for it.