Confession of a Fatty
The fact that I am overweight is not a new-found fact around these parts. The fact that I have been working my butt off (literally) to change it is nothing new either. But I have a confession to make, and it's not easy for me to say:
I don't care if people know that I'm fat, but I hate when people know that I'm trying to change it.
I don't know what it is, but others around me knowing that I'm at home, eating right and working out, makes me almost sick to my stomach.
Recently I took position as a team captain for a weigh-smart challenge at work. It goes from January 27th to April 27th and essentially the goal is to achieve your 'ideal' weight in that time. Obviously, someone like me will never be able to achieve a goal that big in only 3 months, but I am determined to be a face of change and do my absolute best in that time.
My hope is to inspire others.
But my biggest fear, the thing I despise, is that I don't want them to look at me and say 'she doesn't look any different' or 'she'll never do it'.
It scares me to put myself out there like that. It shakes my confidence. It makes me feel like all eyes are on me, all of the time, watching my every move, my every meal, my every 'bad' or even 'good' day.
Have you ever had to put yourself out there like this? Letting people into something that is already tough for you, and somewhat private? What helped you to boost your confidence and stand as a face of courage instead of fear?
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Now go link up with The Girl Between the Lines link-up. It's a free week, so write about anything you would like!
You are inspiring others and you are absolutely amazing!~!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jen!
DeleteWow, thanks for being honest. I know what you mean about "hating" to put yourself out there. I am a very closed up person and really hate for others to know things about my life, my struggles or things I am working on. I would prefer everything to look great and perfect from the outside and it is something I need to work on. Please know that people aren't judging you as much as you think! I love when other people are transparent on their blogs even though I struggle to be that way! You are a wonderful girl, keep doing your best and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. :)
ReplyDeleteYa know, I guess that's one thing that I've never minded - sharing my world with others. But it is hard sometimes. Thank you for being honest with ME...and thank you for the kind words.
DeleteI feel the same way about putting myself out there and drawing attention to myself, but how awesome for you to push yourself like that?! Think of how many people probably didn't have the courage to do that? And honestly if anyone was crazy enough to think anything negative about you, that is their problem not yours! You've already inspired people just by sharing this :)
ReplyDeleteThank so much, Carly. I guess I should worry less about what other people think!
DeleteThe fact that you're ready and willing to change is a big deal! And, that you've taken action is an even bigger deal! Take it one day at a time. You'll get there.
ReplyDeleteAfter having Marcus I was so self-conscious. So much so I totally avoided having my picture taken with him during the first 8(ish) months of his life. Looking back on those early pictures makes me sad, I wish I would have been in those pictures with him.
It wasn't until I started working out, tracking my workouts, and logging into my food journal, that I decided the change was for *me*, and not a single our soul.
There are very few photos of Henry and I. I guess one thing I would really love is to feel less self-conscious in front of the camera as well. Thank you for sharing your own struggles, it means a lot.
DeleteSometimes I don't have much faith in myself cause I've started & stopped so many times in the past ... so I don't like to share with folks that I've started up again cause I feel like I know what they're thinking. Because of that, I generally don't talk a lot about what I'm doing. Just depends on my mood, I suppose. I say to us both: WE CAN DO IT!
ReplyDeleteAmen sister, we CAN do this!
DeleteJenn, you are AMAZING!!! Thank you for putting your heart out there today! YOU CAN DO THIS. And you are beautiful. And all the hard work and discipline you are putting in to this is absolutely inspiring!! Thank you for this. So encouraged by you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for being encouraging yourself! You are the amazing one!
DeleteLove your raw honesty, Jenn! I think we all have little things like that in our life that make us fearful of what others might think or say! Keep doing your thing and be proud of yourself! Your determination and heart mean way more than some goal or guideline! Keep it up! :)
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