So What!

I'm linking up with Shannon over at Life After I 'Dew' for another So What Wednesday. This week I'm saying So What! that:

-I went to the grocery yesterday and bought everything to make homemade cake and icing and forgot cupcake liners...and I really want to make cupcakes and not a cake. I guess we'll be making another trip to town in a bit.

-My entire body hurts from all the work I've been doing the last week or so. I swear I haven't stopped.

-I think Jeremy is going to flip a little when he realizes that having Henry's room carpeted is going to be a little more expensive than he thought.

-I already proved Jeremy wrong once with the carpet when he was so SURE that Henry's room was no larger than a 12x12. I'm the one that's worked in it for the last year, I think I would know better. And yes, I was still of with my guess of 15x15 but I was closer than he was so HA! (It's a 14x14)

-I had my heart set on a carpet that came in a 12' roll but I think I'm going to change my mind to keep from having so much waste and a seam and find one that's a 15'. *SIGH*

-My bestest is stopping by who I haven't seen in months today and I am giddy like a girl who just got kissed for the first time!

-I cannot wait to sit here and watch all the episodes of The Bachelor that I missed. Let's just say that I am super impatient and looked ahead to see who wins and I CANNOT wait (SPOILER ALERT) for Tierra to be sent home. The girl is messed up.

-I'm thinking of dying my hair, something that I haven't done for...7 years? I'm thinking just adding highlights, especially since I think I've decided to grow it out again. (Don't worry, I'll change my mind tomorrow.)

-I miss my grandmother this week. There, I said it. We went and seen her for a few hours last night but it's just not enough. This week is just busy and I'm not going to be able to put in the time that I usually do.

-Henry made out like a thief for Valentine's day. Since when does having a kid make you invisible? Where's MY Valentine candy, cards and stuffed animals?!

Goodbye My Precious Baby

Henry is sitting in his highchair, cottage cheese all over his face, in his hair and down the front of him, gibber-jabbering away about something that I can't understand and the only thing I really want to do is pick him up and kiss all over that messy face. This kid amazes me, and I love him beyond the measure of 'love' alone. This morning he brought me 'Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?' and 'The Very Busy Spider' and we sat and flipped through the pages as he pointed at all the animals and said 'look' and waited patiently for me to tell him what each animal was. I love quiet times like this, when he wants to be close to me and hear my voice, it makes all the hard times worth it.

There has been more than one time lately that I've longed for my toddler to return to being his baby self, when he was completely dependent on me and preferred me over any other person in this world. When he gives his Daddy kisses, and cuddles him on the couch or follows him to the door in the morning before he leaves for work and says 'love you', it melts my heart, but it also hurts a little too. He doesn't do those things with me, and I know it's because I'm with him...all the time...and Daddy is more of a treat right now. Still, I wish he wanted me more now that he can choose who he wants to cuddle with and kiss on all the time. I'll just keep loving him with my whole heart and count on that love being returned with cuddles and kisses when he gets a little older, because I know it will. When he falls down or bumps his head and comes running to me, I know that that action alone is a testament of his love and trust in me, and I cling to that at times in order to hold back the tears. I think I've just been overly emotional lately because he is getting so big and growing so fast and learning so much and it's hard to accept sometimes that you no longer have a baby in your arms and that the time that you took for granted while they were so little is now completely gone, never to be returned.

As we are taking big steps to finish his room (someone is coming out to measure for carpet today and the painting is finally (Thank God!) finished), I think it's a cruel reminder that one day he will want to spend most of his time up there without me. He will sleep in his bed all night without ending up in ours and he will spend hours reading books in his nook or listening to music on his bed and I'll only see him at dinner time. He'll be a moody teenager who wants his space and a 'big boy' who wants to do everything on his own and I'll be left as his mother, still clinging to the baby that I've already lost. Today I am sad because that baby is gone, but I know that I am blessed because of the beautiful boy that is growing, healthy and perfect, in front of me day to day.

Your mommy loves you Henry, be easy on me okay? I just love you so much that it hurts.

It's 5 a.m. and I'm wide awake...

This is the second morning that I've woke up before or around 5 a.m. I know I could go back to sleep, but for some reason I feel the need to be up, doing nothing. The weekends are hard on me because I go from spending the week with Henry doing (almost) whatever I want, to spending 8 hours on my feet on a concrete floor. We eat dinner later because I'm not home until at least 6:30 and we go to bed later because we eat dinner later and then I have to be up earlier in the morning. It's a vicious cycle. I'm not trying to complain, I just feel like I get out of whack every single weekend.

I'm considering taking up running. I know a lot of you girls run but I am terrified of even trying. I know I'm going to have to start very slow and work my way up at this point to any sort of time/distance, but I think it's something that I really want to do again. When I was in high school I managed the track and field team (yeah, I was THAT loser) but we had to practice with the team so I did a lot of running and I actually kind of enjoyed it then. Any pointers for this newbie? My biggest concerns are time (I'm probably only going to be able to run early in the morning or later in the evening when Jeremy can be home with Henry, at least to start) and my sheer ability to do it. I'm a nervous willy at times so the thought of running at say... oh, 5 a.m....before the world is stirring, kind of frightens me although I live in what I would consider a very small and safe area. Same thing goes for the evenings. Do I just carry pepper spray or something to calm those nerves? I need some pointers here!

I suppose I should try to get some more sleep before work, I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!

Bargain Hunting

I have started a handful of posts this week and all of them are sitting unfinished and unpublished. I just haven't felt like sitting still this week at all; every day Henry and I have found ways to avoid the tv, computer and even the house.... which was nice. Yesterday the weather was gorgeous and we played outside for a good while. Today it's rainy, which is okay. I have shows to catch up on, housework to do and then work tonight. I plan on having a pretty lazy day to be honest.

I will say, I've done A LOT of shopping this week. It seems like everyone is having huge clearance sales and while I'm cheap and hate to spend any kind of money, I just couldn't resist. I think I spent a total of $50 this week between J.C. Penney's, Elder Beerman, Sears and Kohls. You won't believe the things I got for that though!

For myself:
A new pair of Levi's ($12 at Kohls - Originally $48)
Gloves ($2 at Penney's - Originally $13)
3 long-sleeved shirts ($5 at Penney's - Originally $18 and $24)
4 tank-tops ($5 at Penney's and $4 at Kohls - Originally $15 and $28)
2 'dressier' tops ($5 at Penney's and $8 at Kohls - Originally $20 and $44)
2 bras ($5 at Penney's - Originally $25)
3 cardigans ($10 at Penney's - Originally $28)

For Henry:
An Osh Kosh jacket for spring ($6 at Penney's - Originally $30)
4 long-sleeved shirts ($3 at Penney's and Kohls - Originally $5 -$10)
1 short-sleeved shirt ($1 at Penney's - Originally $5)
Mickey Mouse Bubbles ($.50 at Kohls - Originally $5)

For Jeremy:

A Reds t-shirt ($4 at Sears - Originally $22)
2 under armour shirts ($5 at Penney's - Originally $20).



















For All of Us: A new comforter set. ($35 at Beermans - Originally $210)

Total: $729
Total spent: $154.50 (minus $105 in gift cards and coupons so really $49.50)
Total saved: $574.50

What!? I feel like I rocked it this week, ladies! Have you came across any amazing deals lately?

Valentine's Photo Shoot

Henry and I camped out at the house today and played all day long. I think I took a total of ten minutes to load and unload the dishwasher and do a load of laundry out of playtime. We had a wonderful time.

I also took the opportunity to attempt to capture a photo or two with the 'big' camera. I've been neglecting to use it at all lately and I have two weddings to shoot this spring and I feel completely unprepared and out of practice.

It also gave me the opportunity to look back and reflect on where a year has brought us. Kids grow far too quickly and no matter how many times people have told me this, it's still so hard for me to believe and I have proof right in front of me!

Henry's Valentine's Day photos last year at 6 months of age:

Henry this year at 18 months of age:

One of his favorite things right now is to 'play' his horn. There are three different keys and he always gets a thrill out of playing each one and hearing the different sound each makes. I thank God daily for blessing me with this little boy, he has become my reason for breathing on my days and I can't imagine my life without him.

Wonderful Mess

I find it difficult, impossible to find balance in life; it is something I have always struggled with.

Older than my years or a kid at heart?
Go, see, do or stay at home?
High fashion or jeans and t-shirts?
Vibrant colors or soothing neutrals?
Taking risks or playing it safe?
Cherish the small stuff or seeing the big picture?

All of these things are part of who I am.

Balance. I'm either hot or cold, thrown far to the left or far to the right.

Really, what a wonderful mess of a creature I am.

January

In case any of you have been off in la-la land like I usually am and missed that yesterday was the last day of January... Happy February!

I don't know if I mentioned that I'm doing a 365 this year and (attempting) to take a photo a day for the year. Last year I attempted a 52 (one photo a week) and failed miserably. But, I was also trying to use my 'big' camera and it was easier to forget or just brush it off. This year almost every photo has been taken with my phone and it's been SOO easy so far to keep up with it. Sooo... I thought I would share my first month's photos with you. You'll notice, almost every single one is Henry... I sure love that boy!

I may have thrown that last one in as an extra because I finished that little cutie last night. He's a goodie bag that opens and ties at the ear for Easter baskets. I'm hoping to find time to make quite a few of them with different fabrics and such, this one is blue jeans with just scrap yellow fabric for the ears. Isn't he cute?

Happy February (and happy Friday)!!