Random Ramblings

It's not the same as it once was. There isn't that spark, that want, that need. She still loves him, but that love has converted into something less. Bits and pieces of it have fallen away into shadows where they will, more than likely, stay lost without ever being found. She thought it was better that way; a more honest way of living. Without him she was overall, a better person, even if that left her a bit...well, unhappier. The thought of living without him tore her apart, but if she didn't think about him, she didn't think of living without him and that left her puzzle complete, creating that one missing piece where he should have been. Completion found within a void...if that made sense.

Exhaustion

I am beyond tired tonight. I couldn't even begin to explain the busy week I've had and work today just topped it off. I haven't been able to pull my thoughts into one place for a long enough period to write anything this week. I'm disappointed in myself for that, I feel like I sacrifice to much of myself and what I really love at times. I've had a few things on my mind that I just want to rid myself of. Like one, Brandon Heath's song 'Love Never Fails' is now playing on K-Love. I know it sounds ridiculous, especially since he's my favorite musician...but it just makes me plain out mad. That was my song, it belonged to me and part of the reason it was so special to me was because it wasn't 'out' there, being heard everyday by millions of other people. I got married to that song, I walked down the aisle to the beautiful music and lyrics about the truest love. I guess it shouldn't matter to me if it is now 'known'. But I liked it better when it was just mine and my husbands, when every word was known by us and the rest of the world didn't know it. Oh well.

In other news, Mason has been sleeping through the night. He's a mommy's boy though. The moment I get up he cries and yelps until I come get him...and he listens to me. When Jeremy tries to tell him to do something he does just the opposite. It's kind of funny. He'll get the hang of things eventually, he's only a baby still!

In exactly two weeks I will be boarding our cruise ship and prepare to head towards the Carribean. WOOHOO. I need a vacation in the worst way. I need some time with my husband especially. Just us. No worries, no work, no hw.

Which reminds me. Two more weeks of school. Four more days of classes. I could count them down now. I can't wait to start next quarter. I take my first accounting class...and I'm also taking a humanities class that revolves around Bible study. I'm extremely excited for both of them.

Oh! And before then I get to go do some shopping. Get some new flippies and sundresses and summer clothing. Oh to be in the warmth of the sun! I so will be sporting a sunburn when I come home from spring break!

It's bedtime for me. If you asked me what I just wrote here, I probably couldn't tell you. I am truly beyond exhausted and for the first time in awhile, I have fought sleep long enough to accomplish a little bit of something. Either way though, church will come early tomorrow morning. So happy weekend everyone. =)

Our New Addition

It's been a very, very long night and still, I was nothing but excited when I got up this morning to our newest little addition. His name is Mason Landon Ovenshire and he is a full-blooded (woo, a registered puppy!) mini-dachshund. I'm not sure I would call him mini though, he's more of a teacup size. He's just adorable. He has the tan and black markings, which is what my husband always wanted and enough personality to fill the shoes of a puppy of great size. His brothers and sisters were 2 or 3 times larger than him, so to say we got the runt would be accurate enough.

He cried all night. I mean...all night. I feel bad for the little guy, I can't imagine how it must feel for him to just be pulled away from his mommy and siblings. It was cute though, I got up at 6:00 and held him until he fell asleep and then put him back in his cage. (I would have loved for him to sleep with us but we don't want to start any bad habits this early.) When I woke up again this morning at 9, he was still curled up beneath the blankets, chewing on Susie's old froggy. It was just cute.

Stinky is far from thrilled with us. We're hoping he will warm up to him eventually and they will become great friends. Isa doesn't seem to care...of course, she probably wouldn't. Jeremy is looking forward to teaching him how to catch. I, of course, am looking forward to doggy sweaters and taking him out. We're planning on him being a traveling dog, so he'll always be with us! I'm very happy to have him as the newest addition to our family.

'Bucket List' Tuesday

Is it really Tuesday again? I can't believe how quickly the last week has gone by. I've spent most of my evening doing tid-bits of nothing, putting off writing this blog and yet knowing that I should. Not because anyone is looking to read it really, but because my new year resolution was to write more and at this moment in time, writing this blog is my only string holding me to that resolution. Honestly, I feel as if I'm not doing so awful bad. I wrote a little story earlier this week and I wrote my husband a letter last night, as well as a little blog yesterday. So even if I'm not writing anything concrete, I'm still writing something on and off.

Anywho, on to the bucket list-ness. I haven't thought about what I might add this week at all up until this moment so I think I'm going to go with the first thing that came to my mind. I want to travel. I want to see parts of the world that I've always wished to see but never thought I'd get the chance growing up. Ireland being one in particular and Greece being another. So that is my addition to my bucket list this week. I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight, I can't remember being this tired in quite some time.

Jenn's Bucket List

1) Become a writer; one who touches people's lives and creates words that can be felt and not just read.
2) I want to work in the mission field, be God's hands and feet, help others even if it means giving up even the most precious of things.
3) I want to have a long, happy marriage.
4) I want to travel the world and at one point in time, visit Ireland and Greece.

Another tidbit on ::time::

(The picture is from St. Mary's lake. It's so beautiful frozen.)

I've realized that time is so not on my side anymore. It's 9 o'clock. I think to myself "Oh man, it's early...I can just sit around awhile, take my time." until I remember all that I need to accomplish today. Days off are almost like working, they allow me just enough time to finish all that I've put off during the week. Laundry and homework especially.

Yesterday was nice and relaxing. I guess one day a week is all that I can really ask for. I'm so thankful for that time that I have to spend alone with my husband. Although we rarely find anything too exciting to do, we're happy just to be together. I'm really hoping that our schedules will mix better this next quarter. It would make things much easier if we just had school the same nights and not the opposite. I miss being awake when he comes in the door at night and watching a bit of tv or playing a game or something before bedtime. Little things suffer when schedule's are so mix-matched.

So today I am doing laundry. I have to get to Sinclair to schedule my classes, I have homework to catch up on and before I left the house this morning, I tried to tidy up a bit. (Although I have to admit that us never being home sure does keep the place clean. The cat alone seems to make a bigger mess than the two of us combined anymore.) There is class tonight and then the drive home just in time to get in bed to late. I will be tired for work tomorrow.

'Bucket List' Tuesday

This week's 'bucket list' was pretty easy for me. With Valentine's Day passing and my love for my husband growing, I knew exactly what I wanted to add to my list. It's silly really, because I think that most people add things to their own lists that they almost consider unattainable or beyond their wildest dreams. I want to actually DO what's on my list, not just dream of doing it.

I like to think that my husband and I have a pretty amazing realtionship. We're all the time getting the 'you two seem so happy together' and 'you make the greatest couple' from people who usually, barely know us. My favorite is 'married looks good on you'. That one always makes me smile, mostly because I really hope it's true. I feel like marriage changed me as a person (as it should, right?). I feel like the difference that I feel inside should be apparent to all of the world, even if they can't actually see the difference. I love being married, it's by far the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

So this week, I'm going to make my entry short and sweet:: I want to have a long, happy marriage. Just like that, that's it. Have a great week everyone!

Jenn's Bucket List

1) Become a writer; one who touches people's lives and creates words that can be felt and not just read.
2) I want to work in the mission field, be God's hands and feet, help others even if it means giving up even the most precious of things.
3) I want to have a long, happy marriage.

Time

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too slow for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." -Henry Van Dyke

My flower that Jeremy bought me after Christmas finally bloomed this week. It is just gorgeous and it really brightens up the room. It makes my heart warm when I look out and see the beautiful snow laying on the ground and then glance over at my beautiful white flower. It's like I have a little miracle of nature sitting in my living room.

I am so amazed at life this week. Little moments have left me feeling so very blessed. I realized for one, that I have made two of the best friends at work. I think that if I needed either of them, they'd be there in a heartbeat. I'd do the same for them. This winter has been my one of my favorites. I remember last winter and my wedding and then my honeymoon, I remember my wonderful reception on Valentine's day and I thought that nothing could ever top those moments. I'm not sure that this winter has 'topped' the last, but in ways, it feels like it has. I think that certain moments are different in life. Situations force them to be.

Last winter was overwhelming and full of love and hope and a beginning. This winter wasn't completely different in that aspect, but it's been more about loving myself and the little moments that I find to self-reflect and appreciate life and all that it has offered. It's not about a new love but of one that has grown and strengthened through the hard times and the good. I'm so excited for Valentine's day tomorrow. Not because we have anything 'special' planned, but just because I have the entire day to spend with my husband. No work, no school...just us.

Time together and alone, is more of a blessing than what I could ever ask for. I've learned to appreciate time (don't we all say that) more lately. Time is always running, it never stops, not for any of us...it doesn't take 'breaks', it doesn't 'pause' so that a perfect moment can last forever. Sometimes, I really wish it could. So I hope that time allows you all to have a wonderfully perfect Valentine's day full of love. My perfect day has already begun...