Move it!

Are you ready?? Wait for it... wait for it...

I committed tonight to participating in a 5k... THIS YEAR!

Nothing says motivation like signing up for a 5k and when you have a team of ladies joining you, you're sure to stay committed.

So this year, on August 24th, I will be participating in The Color Run...which has to be the most exciting 5k to sign up for. Period.

Is it crazy to say that I absolutely cannot wait?! Not only am I going to be doing this 5k with my bestest and SIL, but I know that this is exactly what I need to stay motivated to get my butt off the couch and get moving.

Color Run 2013 - Bring It!!

Tid-Bits

There is one thing I know about having a sick baby: I will feel horrible.

Emotionally I will hurt because my baby is sick and there is minimal that I can do about it. Physically I will be exhausted because I will be up a good part of the night rocking, cooing and urging him that the best way to get better is to just close his little eyes and go back to sleep.

It's 6 a.m. and we are currently sitting on the couch watching Mickey Mouse and drinking water. I'm exhausted but the best sleep he seemed to get through the night was when I was sitting up so he could sleep on my chest - so that's how I stayed. He didn't really sleep much otherwise. I think it's just a small cold or virus. He's running a low grade temperature and has a stuffy nose and cough. He doesn't seem to be feeling completely horrible, he's still active, running around the house and playing like normal, he just never sleeps well when he's stuffed up (who does?). I really hope he feels better soon, I hate when my baby is sick in any way.

I've been working on getting my Etsy shop stocked once again. I used to keep it full of items that could be custom made - and I can still take custom made orders -  but I ran into the issue that I would sell 2 or 3 orders at once and I would be working my hands off trying to get them all made and shipped as quick as possible. So for now, I'm planning on keeping mostly pre-made items in the shop. This way if someone orders something, I can throw it into a box/envelope, run it to the post office and be done. It's so much easier!

We also set our official vacation dates. We will be leaving for Florida on the 12th of April, staying in the condo there from the 13th to the 20th and then making our way home on the 21st. I'm so excited to take Henry to the beach again (and hopefully get some pictures this time). He loved it so much the first time! I'm ready for the vacation too, although I'm not ready for the long drive or the coming home part, haha!

Today is the last day of February which means my brother turns 17 either today or tomorrow. He's a leap year baby so I just leave that decision up to him every year. I can't believe I'm even saying that - 17. Someone pinch me and tell me it's just a dream. Love you Levi, Happy Birthday!!


It's Thursday which means it's time for Why I Love My Husband (The Never-ending List)

19) He brought me tea home from work yesterday - just to be nice.

20) He says ‘thank you’ and he says it often.

21) He trusts my judgment on pretty much everything.

22) He knows exactly how to calm my fears and anxieties.

23) He fixes my broken car and never complains because I break it quite often.

#enditmovement

Lip Tie

As I was sitting on the couch, cuddling and tickling Henry last night, I noticed something strange. Upon further inspection, a frantic call for Jeremy to come look, and a little research, we discovered that Henry has a lip tie.

From what I've read, it takes little more than a snip and a couple possible stitches to fix it, but it still scared Jeremy and I to death. Suddenly our seemingly perfect son was not so perfect anymore and quite frankly, that was hard for us to grasp. Jeremy is going to call today and talk to both Henry's pediatrician and hopefully a pediatric dentist so we can get an idea of what is our best bet at this time. I've read that a lot of dentists will suggest just leaving it be for awhile on the chance that they will fall or something and break it lose themselves. So I don't know what our next steps will be.

It also seems like the only downsides to having a lip tie is that there will be a gap between front teeth (which Henry clearly has) and the possibility of an increase in cavities and such with these two teeth because food particles can easily get stuck in the extra space there.

The part that angers me and concerns me the most is that usually a professional discovers this lip tie within the first few weeks of life because there are issues with breast feeding. I never could breast feed Henry and we talked to numerous lactation consultants, nurses and doctors. He's been to well check-ups and had his mouth looked at numerous times and no one ever caught it. I look back and think of the tears and the frustration and the months and months of spending an hour pumping and then an hour feeding just so Henry could have my milk, the rushed trips home from work to pump during my lunch in which I usually didn't get to eat, and the overwhelming feeling of failure because I just couldn't get my baby to take to my breast. 

It's easy to get angry because they missed it and most of that frustration and trouble could have been saved with a simple snip. Not to mention, the earlier it would have been found, the less painful and easier it would have been to be taken care of.

Have any of your kids ever had a lip tie? Did you have it cut or did you just leave it be?

3...2...1...GO!

Two posts in one day... I know, I know... you don't love (or even like) me that much!

Here's the deal. We've got a vacation planned for April. I don't know what week of April yet, but Jeremy, Henry and I plus Jeremy's mother and father are renting a condo on the beach in Florida for a week. We're taking 2 extra days to drive down and back so it will actually be more of a 9 day vacation than a 7 day vacation.

I. Cannot. Wait.

But I'm a whale. Seriously. I set a huge weight-loss goal somewhere in the middle of January and I know it's going to be nearly impossible to reach, but I want to work REALLY hard towards losing at least SOMETHING in the next month plus however many weeks, depending on when we decide to go.

I've lost 6 pounds so far. It's averaged out to a little over a pound a week. Which is good. It's progress and I mean...if you lose 1 pound a week for a year, that's 52 pounds! Right!?! I need to keep it up, but I'd really like to vamp it up to 2 pounds a week for the next month. My original goal was 2 pounds a week up until Jeremy and I's five year anniversary on December 23rd this year. And yes, that does equal out to almost 100 pounds, 96 if you want to be exact, but I realized that although I was dieting and exercising on a daily basis, it was just disappointing me when I didn't see that 2 pound weight loss every week.

Disappointment = Discouragement
Discouragement = A Drop in Self-Confidence
A Drop in Self-Confidence = Binge Eating
Binge Eating = Weight Gain
Weight Gain = More Disappointment

It's a vicious cycle. So I set my goal to 1 pound a week, which is more realistic and what most dietitians and trainers will tell you is what you should be focusing on losing anyway. I'm also not 'dieting' per say, but watching what I eat and how much I eat of it and then focusing on how certain foods make me feel and also how moving and pushing my body makes me feel.

I like to work out. I do. What I don't like is being out of breath and feeling like I'm going to pass out or constantly worrying if people think I'm gross and silly looking. But I know if I keep pushing, it will get better. I'd really like to take up running. I used to run and I loved it, but I am SO out of shape that it's going to be a push for me.

I found this and thought it might work for me. So this week I am starting with week one. I even added an extra 10 minutes of 'slow' walking so that it made it a full 30 minutes.

I've also been doing this workout every morning for the last couple of days although I've only done one rep. My goal this week is to move it up to twice a day and then hopefully increase it to even three times a day. I did increase the push-ups and sit-ups to 30 instead of 10 and 20 each. I've found that I'm actually quit strong when it comes to strength training, I'm just horribly out of shape when it comes to cardio. The jumping jacks about kill me.

I need motivation and I need rewards so I've started a little 'wish-list' rewards program. I have a couple short-term goals and rewards for vacation. But I also have some BIG rewards for the end of this year and journey.

If I can keep up the good work and continue losing 1 pounds a week until our vacation, I'll splurge on a really cute summer dress right before we leave. I love this one.

I'm also going to need a new bathing suit, so I'd like to find one that has a bit of a vintage flare and is also a two piece (even if it is a tankini). I'll be using this a lot this year considering we've already decided to get a new pool this summer. If I can work-out at LEAST 4 times a week until our vacation, I'll allow myself this. If not, it's the old, drab black one that I have tucked far away that I was hoping never to see again. 

Here are my incentives otherwise:

For every month that I continue to lose 1 pound a week, I'll treat myself to something from my wishlist. A movie, book...etc.

For every 10 pounds I lose, I'm going to treat myself to one 'essentials' outfit. A new pair of jeans and a cute shirt or something along those lines that I can find on sale/clearance that won't break the bank. Jeremy and I are also going to have a date night. I don't know HOW I'm going to accomplish that one, but I'm going to make it happen.

When I lose 25 pounds, I'm going to buy myself a new pair of shoes. I love shoes...and purses, so I'm itching for something new and super cute for the summer. This is going to be regardless of price (although I don't have super expensive taste). If I work really, really hard...I may be able to accomplish this before our vacation. That would be 19 pounds in 5-8 weeks, depending on when we go. I can do this.

When I lose 50 pounds, I'm going to treat myself to an additional outfit, regardless of price with the addition of accessories.. I'm also going to buy myself a 'hobby' accessory, whether that be photo, crochet or otherwise related. I'm also going to cut and dye my hair however I so choose.

When I lose 75 pounds, I'm going to buy another additional outfit and a right-hand ring. I want a vintage ring so badly so I'm going to find one that I love and keep my eye on it until then.

Isn't this just stunning?

When I lose the 96 pounds total, which is my goal...well, I'm going to go crazy. I'm going to get a new tattoo, maintain that weight (or even push to lose a little more) and feel wonderful about myself. I'll buy clothes and hang them in my closet knowing that they'll never be too small again. I'll look in the mirror and feel completely liberated knowing that I did it and that I did it for all the right reasons. I'll force Jeremy to buy me a new camera. I'll participate in a color run and wear dresses that come above my knees and shorts and tank-tops and will be able to shop anywhere for clothing. I'll renew my wedding vows with my husband and have an actual wedding ceremony and I'll buy a beautiful new dress that will stun all who see it. I'll cut and dye my hair, have my nails done, pamper myself a bit an bask in the idea that I did it all ON MY OWN!

I can't wait. Because I WILL do it. Even if it takes me two or three or even four years, I won't give up! 

The Boys Are Back In Town!

I hope my husband's eyes never find their way to this post. He would die; just die. I've been browsing online all weekend in my downtime for Easter inspiration outfits for Henry. I can't say that I tried very hard because I still don't have a 'big' idea as to what I want to get him to wear this year, but I will say that I've found some super cute inspiration photos for some spring outfits.

LOVE everything about this except for the slouch beanie; I'd have to trade it in for a fedora or newsboy hat. Check out those adorable socks too! I have everything to complete this outfit except for the cardigan and possible hat so it must be fate!

Okay...so clearly Henry needs some colored Converse. He outgrew his standard black ones and I've been waiting to find a pair at the 2nd hand store. Let's cross our fingers and hope! 

Colored shoes and a scarf? My husband would DIE! But I love the combination!

This is more of a Jeremy pleaser. He would hate those mustard skinnies, but love the shirt so I think I could get away with it.  We already have shoes identical which I think would work perfect for all of these outfits.

I was thinking something along these last pictures for Easter. Gray skinnies that could be worn at other times as well with a homemade colorful tie or bow-tie with either a vest or suspenders and a plain button up shirt with a contrast fold-over color. Throw in a super adorable cardigan if it's cool out and we have one cutie on our hands!

Do you boy moms ever feel like it's SUPER hard to find cute boys clothing? I love all of these outfits because I think they are super easy to accomplish while having plenty of room for repurposing pieces and throwing in your own originality and style. If you find one REALLY GREAT piece, BUY IT! You can find a million ways to use one really good piece by pairing it with everyday essentials!

Watch out girls, the boys are back in town and they're taking the fashion world by storm!

And in case you missed my post last week with Henry's new hair-cut, check out how adorbs my little man is looking right now!

What I Remember

This post is going to be hard for me, but I need to get it out and I need to send a message loud and clear about exactly how and why I feel the way that I do.

My mother joined Facebook a little while ago and sent me a friend request. I accepted it willingly, having absolutely no issue with her keeping up with the ins and outs of my life. I've sent her photos of Henry in the past and I'm okay with her being involved in our lives in this way, I'm just not comfortable with anything more.

What bugs me is her constant comments of 'this is my grand-baby', 'I just love him', and 'I would love to see him'. She has a right to express her feelings, but I may just be cruel enough to not want to hear it.

This is why:

My first memory of her is being told by my father and who I believed was my mother that my brother and I had a different mother. I remember crying. I remember begging that I wouldn't have to see her, that my life wouldn't have to change this way.

I remember having a decent summer or two with her. We went to Sea World and swam in a blow-up pool and had a good time. I remember her sitting in the yard at her trailer and crying when my father picked us up and took us back home. We still saw her on some weekends, but then it stopped again.

I remember not hearing from her for awhile.

I remember her stealing my dad's wallet and me taking the entire blame for it after my brother told me that he had helped her and asked me to tell my father and the police. My dad yelled and screamed and told me to get out of his house.

I remember not hearing from her again for a long time.

I remember her telling me one time after not seeing me for months that I needed to lose my 'muffin-top' and then I would look good. I was maybe 14. Thanks for the help with the self-image!

I remember her telling me that she would help buy my graduation invitations and then blowing me off after we spent an entire day running here and there while she did errands.

I remember sending an invitation to my graduation and my graduation party in which she didn't attend.

I remember sending an invitation to my wedding and reception in which she didn't attend.

I remember calling to try and keep in touch and finally reaching her from time to time and then never hearing from her again. It takes effort from both sides.

I remember her family members contacting me telling me how much she wanted to be in my life, acting like I was just holding some sort of grudge and almost trying to guilt-trip me into letting her come and go in my life as she always choose when I was growing up. No thank you.

And through out my life when I needed a mother:

I remember being scared when I started my period because I had no one there to tell me what was happening or what to do.

I remember teaching myself how to do my hair and make-up because I had no one there to teach me.

I remember feeling like I wasn't worth someone's love.

I remember getting hurt by careless decisions because I dressed far too old for my age and chased after boys thinking that they could make me feel that love.

I remember hanging out with people who did little more than pound any self-worth I had into the ground. I was literally made fun of almost daily at the age of 14 because I was still a virgin. 

I remember feeling guilty because my dad was stuck with this girl that he had no idea what to do with.

I remember one of my teachers at school pulling me to the side to give me deodorant and face-wash because  no one had ever told me that I needed them.

I remember being dirt-poor and going without essentials because I was too ashamed to ask anyone else for them and my dad paid out so much child-support but got none in return. 

(He's not completely innocent in all of this either, but at least he constantly tried.)

I remember my grandmother being there to step in, pay my entire way through high-school, graduation, class trips, sports, field-trips and teaching me how to be an respectable lady. She was there when I got engaged, married, pregnant...when I moved, when I needed someone to talk to or when I needed advice.

I didn't have much of a mother and I'm not trying to be mean. I just don't understand where she thinks she can just come into my life and expect so much trust and openness with me. I am not angry with her, I am just cautious and too aware of the pain and that is not likely to change anytime soon.

As far as her grandson goes, now I can choose to PROTECT him. I can choose not to allow his life and feelings to be on the line with a grandmother who claims she loves him and wants to see him but claimed the same with her very own children in which she abandoned. I know that I can not protect my son from everything in life, but right now, I feel like I can protect him from this.

If you made it through all of that, I'm sorry that this post is not all rainbows and sunshine. I live a wonderful life and I am a normal human-being. I am not a product of my parents because I have made the decision to live my life the way that I feel is right. I am grateful for those who stepped in in my life and helped me get by some of the hard times, I'm just struggling right now with this constant reminder that I am choosing to keep Henry from my mother while she wishes I wouldn't. I just feel it is what's best.

 

Cuteness Overload

Someone got his hair cut today!

So What!

It's Wednesday which means it's time to link up with Shannon for another SWW! 
So What! if...
-I'm posting this at 9 p.m. Life has just been busy lately.
-I bought Henry red skinny jeans today knowing that Jeremy would absolutely hate them. He'll look stinkin' adorable in them and I can't wait to put them on him.
-There are days that I feel moments away from a break-down. I carry some heavy baggage.
-I have about 6 projects started that I need to finish and some of them I need to finish NOW because I was hoping to sell them for Easter baskets. I swear I need a full-time nanny and maid in order to get anything else accomplished anymore.
-Henry went pee on his potty every single day, some times two or three times a day for a 5 day period and now he just won't go. The kid likes to mess with my head.
-I change my mind weekly about whether or not I'd like to have a girl one day. Girls are great and all and I quite like being female myself, but I just don't see myself being a good 'girl' mom.
-I'm too hard on myself. There, I said it.
-I want to watch this week's episode of The Bachelor so bad but I'm trying to save it until Henry's nap tomorrow so I can just sit down, watch what I want to watch and relax for a couple of hours.
-I only go to Kroger when I have a handful of 'free' coupons that are about to expire. I don't know why but I hate Kroger. I'll do my shopping at Meijer, thank you.
-You do not want to get me started about my hatred for Wal-Mart.
-This SWW could go on and on and on and on. I think I'll just stop while I'm ahead.

On A Whim

Before Jeremy and I were blessed with Henry, we were quite known for picking up on a whim and taking off somewhere for a night, a few days or even a week. We've never sat down and actually 'planned' a vacation and aside from going on two cruises, we've rarely even known a little more than our planned destination when we left our home. So when I came home from work an hour late on Sunday, exhausted (I had to help unload a truck) and Jeremy was bored out of his mind, I wasn't planning on doing anything more than kicking up my feet and sending him out to pick up some dinner. Then the words left my mouth...

"Is the Chicago Auto Show still going on?"

An hour later we were all in the car, packed and headed towards the windy city without a second thought. That's just how we work.

I did all the driving. I'm a more cautious driver and Jeremy is pretty much blind when it comes to driving at night. I drove until 3 a.m. our time and then just couldn't do it anymore. We found a place to stay an hour outside of Chicago and crashed for about 4 hours.

Henry and I shared a bed while Daddy got his own. We were too tired to care.

Hello Chicago!

For once we were going somewhere that I had been and Jeremy had not. It scared him to be driving to and through a 'big' city like Chicago, but I reminded him that we'd been through Atlanta and Miami with no issues and I remembered Chicago as being way easier to navigate anyway. Once we got there and got lost downtown trying to find the auto show parking, he was at ease - he has a fantastic driver for a wife.  ;)

We loved the  Kia Hamsters!

We enjoyed the auto show but agreed that Detroit's was better. We did however score half-price tickets which was awesome! Once we left the show, we found Michigan Avenue and drove the magnificent mile, drove past the Navy Pier as well as the bean and Lincoln Park.

Michigan Avenue!

We would have loved to have stayed and explored more, but with Jeremy needing to be at work Tuesday morning, we figured we'd better grab some dinner and make the trip home. We figured when in Chicago, you HAVE to get a Chicago style deep-dish pizza, so we looked up the place with the highest rating on Google and stopped. It was delicious and we brought half of it home. I'm looking forward to leftovers for lunch today.

Lou Malnati's Pizza!

I had promised Jeremy (upon another quick trip up Michigan Avenue) that I could get us home by 11 p.m. so that he could get some sleep before work. We pulled into the driveway at 10:58. Hey Jeremy... told ya so!  ;)

Today I am in recovery mode. I'm exhausted and sore from so much work and driving the past few days but I'm feeling refreshed and happy that we got away for at least a night. It's done nothing but snow today here and it's been just perfect. I'm looking forward to returning to the windy city another time!

How was your weekend? Do you guys ever pick up and go on a whim or do you have to plan every trip out?

P.S. - Thank you all for the prayers and support about the position at work. Upon many long talks and prayer, Jeremy and I decided that one of us being home with Henry full-time is more important to us at this time. With the possibility of a second little one joining us in the future, we'd rather I be working outside of the home on a minimum level. There will always be full-time jobs available in the future and this was what we decided was best for now. Thank you again for your prayers in this decision, I feel completely happy and at peace with what we've decided.

Torn

I have an opportunity to take a full-time job that I would be a perfect fit for me at work. This would increase my pay anywhere from $4 to $8 an hour, depending on a few small details. It would also mean me no longer getting to stay home with Henry every day during the week. I talked to a friend who has a daughter a month older than Henry, and she would be willing to babysit the days I would work during the week when both Jeremy and I would be working. It would equal about 11 to 15 days a month away from me.

I would gain 3 days a month of 'family time' that Jeremy and I would both have off together which we have none of now. Our insurance would also improve immensely.

The biggest issue is that I have to make up my mind by tomorrow because there are already 10 others at work applying for the job and the position closes tomorrow.

I'm completely stressed out about the situation, like sick-to-my-stomach feeling, because I don't know what to do. So please say a prayer for me tonight and tomorrow that I will be guided in the correct direction and I will greatly, GREATLY appreciate it.

The 14th of February

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope your day is filled with lots of love, happy thoughts and bear hugs! 

Henry and I plan on having a fun day together and then we're all going to spend the evening together as a family. This will mark four years ago that Jeremy and I celebrated our marriage with our family and friends.

Our marriage was spur of the moment so had our reception on our original wedding date (yes, Valentine's Day) and celebrated with our friends and family then. I was lucky enough to get to wear my wedding dress twice and our tables were adorned with our actual wedding photos. In after-thought, I really enjoyed having our wedding and reception this way. We had been married for 2 months, already been on our honeymoon and we really got to enjoy our reception. We were able to go out later that night with family that was in from town and spend time with those who made a special trip instead of running off just to focus on 'us'.

One day we'll renew our vows in front of them all and they'll get to share that part of our wedding/marriage with us. But the intimate setting in which we were actually married was perfect and those who were invited (just immediate family) I think will tell you that our wedding was beautiful, even if it wasn't full of other people, decorations and so on...

13) He pauses the tv when I leave the room, even if it’s just for a second, because he doesn’t want me to miss anything.

14) He goes to bed with me almost every night, no matter how early (or late) it may be.

15) He cuddles Henry every night before bed.

16) He reads Henry stories in that 'reading' voice that is both super silly and super embarrassing.

17) He shares my interests in history and overall ‘old’ things.

18) He lets me hog the covers.

So What!

I'm linking up with Shannon over at Life After I 'Dew' for another So What Wednesday. This week I'm saying So What! that:

-I went to the grocery yesterday and bought everything to make homemade cake and icing and forgot cupcake liners...and I really want to make cupcakes and not a cake. I guess we'll be making another trip to town in a bit.

-My entire body hurts from all the work I've been doing the last week or so. I swear I haven't stopped.

-I think Jeremy is going to flip a little when he realizes that having Henry's room carpeted is going to be a little more expensive than he thought.

-I already proved Jeremy wrong once with the carpet when he was so SURE that Henry's room was no larger than a 12x12. I'm the one that's worked in it for the last year, I think I would know better. And yes, I was still of with my guess of 15x15 but I was closer than he was so HA! (It's a 14x14)

-I had my heart set on a carpet that came in a 12' roll but I think I'm going to change my mind to keep from having so much waste and a seam and find one that's a 15'. *SIGH*

-My bestest is stopping by who I haven't seen in months today and I am giddy like a girl who just got kissed for the first time!

-I cannot wait to sit here and watch all the episodes of The Bachelor that I missed. Let's just say that I am super impatient and looked ahead to see who wins and I CANNOT wait (SPOILER ALERT) for Tierra to be sent home. The girl is messed up.

-I'm thinking of dying my hair, something that I haven't done for...7 years? I'm thinking just adding highlights, especially since I think I've decided to grow it out again. (Don't worry, I'll change my mind tomorrow.)

-I miss my grandmother this week. There, I said it. We went and seen her for a few hours last night but it's just not enough. This week is just busy and I'm not going to be able to put in the time that I usually do.

-Henry made out like a thief for Valentine's day. Since when does having a kid make you invisible? Where's MY Valentine candy, cards and stuffed animals?!

Goodbye My Precious Baby

Henry is sitting in his highchair, cottage cheese all over his face, in his hair and down the front of him, gibber-jabbering away about something that I can't understand and the only thing I really want to do is pick him up and kiss all over that messy face. This kid amazes me, and I love him beyond the measure of 'love' alone. This morning he brought me 'Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?' and 'The Very Busy Spider' and we sat and flipped through the pages as he pointed at all the animals and said 'look' and waited patiently for me to tell him what each animal was. I love quiet times like this, when he wants to be close to me and hear my voice, it makes all the hard times worth it.

There has been more than one time lately that I've longed for my toddler to return to being his baby self, when he was completely dependent on me and preferred me over any other person in this world. When he gives his Daddy kisses, and cuddles him on the couch or follows him to the door in the morning before he leaves for work and says 'love you', it melts my heart, but it also hurts a little too. He doesn't do those things with me, and I know it's because I'm with him...all the time...and Daddy is more of a treat right now. Still, I wish he wanted me more now that he can choose who he wants to cuddle with and kiss on all the time. I'll just keep loving him with my whole heart and count on that love being returned with cuddles and kisses when he gets a little older, because I know it will. When he falls down or bumps his head and comes running to me, I know that that action alone is a testament of his love and trust in me, and I cling to that at times in order to hold back the tears. I think I've just been overly emotional lately because he is getting so big and growing so fast and learning so much and it's hard to accept sometimes that you no longer have a baby in your arms and that the time that you took for granted while they were so little is now completely gone, never to be returned.

As we are taking big steps to finish his room (someone is coming out to measure for carpet today and the painting is finally (Thank God!) finished), I think it's a cruel reminder that one day he will want to spend most of his time up there without me. He will sleep in his bed all night without ending up in ours and he will spend hours reading books in his nook or listening to music on his bed and I'll only see him at dinner time. He'll be a moody teenager who wants his space and a 'big boy' who wants to do everything on his own and I'll be left as his mother, still clinging to the baby that I've already lost. Today I am sad because that baby is gone, but I know that I am blessed because of the beautiful boy that is growing, healthy and perfect, in front of me day to day.

Your mommy loves you Henry, be easy on me okay? I just love you so much that it hurts.

It's 5 a.m. and I'm wide awake...

This is the second morning that I've woke up before or around 5 a.m. I know I could go back to sleep, but for some reason I feel the need to be up, doing nothing. The weekends are hard on me because I go from spending the week with Henry doing (almost) whatever I want, to spending 8 hours on my feet on a concrete floor. We eat dinner later because I'm not home until at least 6:30 and we go to bed later because we eat dinner later and then I have to be up earlier in the morning. It's a vicious cycle. I'm not trying to complain, I just feel like I get out of whack every single weekend.

I'm considering taking up running. I know a lot of you girls run but I am terrified of even trying. I know I'm going to have to start very slow and work my way up at this point to any sort of time/distance, but I think it's something that I really want to do again. When I was in high school I managed the track and field team (yeah, I was THAT loser) but we had to practice with the team so I did a lot of running and I actually kind of enjoyed it then. Any pointers for this newbie? My biggest concerns are time (I'm probably only going to be able to run early in the morning or later in the evening when Jeremy can be home with Henry, at least to start) and my sheer ability to do it. I'm a nervous willy at times so the thought of running at say... oh, 5 a.m....before the world is stirring, kind of frightens me although I live in what I would consider a very small and safe area. Same thing goes for the evenings. Do I just carry pepper spray or something to calm those nerves? I need some pointers here!

I suppose I should try to get some more sleep before work, I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!

Bargain Hunting

I have started a handful of posts this week and all of them are sitting unfinished and unpublished. I just haven't felt like sitting still this week at all; every day Henry and I have found ways to avoid the tv, computer and even the house.... which was nice. Yesterday the weather was gorgeous and we played outside for a good while. Today it's rainy, which is okay. I have shows to catch up on, housework to do and then work tonight. I plan on having a pretty lazy day to be honest.

I will say, I've done A LOT of shopping this week. It seems like everyone is having huge clearance sales and while I'm cheap and hate to spend any kind of money, I just couldn't resist. I think I spent a total of $50 this week between J.C. Penney's, Elder Beerman, Sears and Kohls. You won't believe the things I got for that though!

For myself:
A new pair of Levi's ($12 at Kohls - Originally $48)
Gloves ($2 at Penney's - Originally $13)
3 long-sleeved shirts ($5 at Penney's - Originally $18 and $24)
4 tank-tops ($5 at Penney's and $4 at Kohls - Originally $15 and $28)
2 'dressier' tops ($5 at Penney's and $8 at Kohls - Originally $20 and $44)
2 bras ($5 at Penney's - Originally $25)
3 cardigans ($10 at Penney's - Originally $28)

For Henry:
An Osh Kosh jacket for spring ($6 at Penney's - Originally $30)
4 long-sleeved shirts ($3 at Penney's and Kohls - Originally $5 -$10)
1 short-sleeved shirt ($1 at Penney's - Originally $5)
Mickey Mouse Bubbles ($.50 at Kohls - Originally $5)

For Jeremy:

A Reds t-shirt ($4 at Sears - Originally $22)
2 under armour shirts ($5 at Penney's - Originally $20).



















For All of Us: A new comforter set. ($35 at Beermans - Originally $210)

Total: $729
Total spent: $154.50 (minus $105 in gift cards and coupons so really $49.50)
Total saved: $574.50

What!? I feel like I rocked it this week, ladies! Have you came across any amazing deals lately?

Valentine's Photo Shoot

Henry and I camped out at the house today and played all day long. I think I took a total of ten minutes to load and unload the dishwasher and do a load of laundry out of playtime. We had a wonderful time.

I also took the opportunity to attempt to capture a photo or two with the 'big' camera. I've been neglecting to use it at all lately and I have two weddings to shoot this spring and I feel completely unprepared and out of practice.

It also gave me the opportunity to look back and reflect on where a year has brought us. Kids grow far too quickly and no matter how many times people have told me this, it's still so hard for me to believe and I have proof right in front of me!

Henry's Valentine's Day photos last year at 6 months of age:

Henry this year at 18 months of age:

One of his favorite things right now is to 'play' his horn. There are three different keys and he always gets a thrill out of playing each one and hearing the different sound each makes. I thank God daily for blessing me with this little boy, he has become my reason for breathing on my days and I can't imagine my life without him.

Wonderful Mess

I find it difficult, impossible to find balance in life; it is something I have always struggled with.

Older than my years or a kid at heart?
Go, see, do or stay at home?
High fashion or jeans and t-shirts?
Vibrant colors or soothing neutrals?
Taking risks or playing it safe?
Cherish the small stuff or seeing the big picture?

All of these things are part of who I am.

Balance. I'm either hot or cold, thrown far to the left or far to the right.

Really, what a wonderful mess of a creature I am.

January

In case any of you have been off in la-la land like I usually am and missed that yesterday was the last day of January... Happy February!

I don't know if I mentioned that I'm doing a 365 this year and (attempting) to take a photo a day for the year. Last year I attempted a 52 (one photo a week) and failed miserably. But, I was also trying to use my 'big' camera and it was easier to forget or just brush it off. This year almost every photo has been taken with my phone and it's been SOO easy so far to keep up with it. Sooo... I thought I would share my first month's photos with you. You'll notice, almost every single one is Henry... I sure love that boy!

I may have thrown that last one in as an extra because I finished that little cutie last night. He's a goodie bag that opens and ties at the ear for Easter baskets. I'm hoping to find time to make quite a few of them with different fabrics and such, this one is blue jeans with just scrap yellow fabric for the ears. Isn't he cute?

Happy February (and happy Friday)!!